WEEK FIVE: BROKENHAL0 (2-2) vs OBJECTIVE (1-3) TIE

Eviction · 05-01-2022, 01:25 AM

@Objective At first glance I seen that your piece is going to be a more solid piece to read in terms of flow and mechanics, however I kind of left off on your piece wondering the point in all this because the storytelling was lacking it just feels like a more abstract piece, which is cool but there still has to be a point and tie ins, the flow is the strongest point and the ease of read structure wise so much I read this before your opponents.

@Brokenhalo I like to keep my line length somewhere arounnd the same, it's all over the place and throws me off so you lost stylistic points in the beginning before I ever read it, mechanically the rhyming and story telling is on point, and I feel like you had a clear path more than your opponet, which I got from his there was really no path, I think this will depend on the voters mood on who wins this, I liked your multies also and how you weaved them in unpredictable places instead of traditionally having them at the end of the line.

This is a tough one, mechnically speaking objective had a verse that was easier to read, but I can't ignore the writing aspect when it comes to storytelling, and I think that is where broken excelled, this was a good battle, but I'm going to give my vote to brokenhalo.

05-01-2022, 01:25 AM	#9
Eviction Detained Join Date: Oct 2020 Posts: 1,838 Battle Record: 16-11 Rep Power: 0	@Objective At first glance I seen that your piece is going to be a more solid piece to read in terms of flow and mechanics, however I kind of left off on your piece wondering the point in all this because the storytelling was lacking it just feels like a more abstract piece, which is cool but there still has to be a point and tie ins, the flow is the strongest point and the ease of read structure wise so much I read this before your opponents. @Brokenhalo I like to keep my line length somewhere arounnd the same, it's all over the place and throws me off so you lost stylistic points in the beginning before I ever read it, mechanically the rhyming and story telling is on point, and I feel like you had a clear path more than your opponet, which I got from his there was really no path, I think this will depend on the voters mood on who wins this, I liked your multies also and how you weaved them in unpredictable places instead of traditionally having them at the end of the line. This is a tough one, mechnically speaking objective had a verse that was easier to read, but I can't ignore the writing aspect when it comes to storytelling, and I think that is where broken excelled, this was a good battle, but I'm going to give my vote to brokenhalo.