allegedly affected

[Split Eight]

The first portion was decently good, some of your better writing that I've seen. Second portion's wordplay was forced or fizzled out. Your rhymes can be quite jumbled, rhyming and flow is not simply an additive process- you can put sounds & emphasis together, the sameish way, four lines in a row.. But whether they sound good, or even seem to rhyme, depends not only on the non-rhymed sections and the overall cadence of the writing but also on your choice of rhymes.

Sometimes I read your writing and think that while you technically *could* rhyme that with something ("games until you ended it"), it's so wordy and weirdly spaced that why would you? Like, you can already tell toure going to have to contort your language to make it work