RATE these LYRICS (8 lines)

Badweather · 12-23-2013, 08:51 PM

**************************************
this is not a game guess who's on a quest
bird's eye view, flew the coop, left the nest
been on the road, with this roll of stress
thinking "what kind of doors i can open next?"

good workers show emotions? yes!
but no success means….no success
walking in the sand, steps get ocean swept
know an undertow's not what to stroke against

**************************************

is that wack to you?

Wise Wiggles · 12-23-2013, 09:01 PM

Yes its wack. All but the 7th line, thats dope. the 8th has potential but your wording fucked it..

Badweather · 12-23-2013, 09:06 PM

it's liquid gold i tell you!

Certain · 12-23-2013, 10:13 PM

Why do you think you are too good for the Open Mic forum?

PancakeBrah · 12-23-2013, 10:34 PM

He's got the Chyeah disease. He's the type that people that people think are nice but in all reality they're the worst. S'why (Copyright Neighbor) I dislike him.

Stick to audio!

Dope girl · 12-23-2013, 10:58 PM

lames 1/10

Dope girl · 12-23-2013, 10:59 PM

its cool cuz text not for everyone, need more work take a while if u beginner.

Badweather · 12-23-2013, 11:23 PM

it's not a text verse, that's for sure

Certain · 12-23-2013, 11:31 PM

Yes, it is. You see the original post? You see how there's text there? You see how it's in verse form? It's a text verse.

Natural · 12-23-2013, 11:31 PM

Eh. Hearing it would do more justice.
As is its below par. Imho.
Not to say if I heard it I would dislike
Because delivery can change everything.

Badweather · 12-24-2013, 06:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Certain

Yes, it is. You see the original post? You see how there's text there? You see how it's in verse form? It's a text verse.

it's already in a song recorded over a week ago

there's a totally different formula for text verses versus verse verses

Lars · 12-24-2013, 07:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mizz Millionaire

its cool cuz text not for everyone, need more work take a while if u beginner.

the realest post ITT

Witty · 12-24-2013, 10:08 AM

I think you posted these before?

Anyway, I thought they were dope....rhymes were cool, it flowed for the most part and your word choice was strong.

I'm not really sure what standards other people have, but all I look for is a piece that makes sense, rhymes well, and gives me something to think about...and this did.

Not mind blowingly awesome...but definitely not wack, it was very short and you didn't go into too much detail as to what you were referring to, but it is solid writing.

Dope girl · 12-24-2013, 10:10 AM

ppl got different taste in music, I'm not feeling it tho.
but, its need Punchlines,creativity. complexity, & flows.

12-23-2013, 08:51 PM	#1
Badweather Chillin' like FUCK!!! Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,850 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 0	RATE these LYRICS (8 lines) ************************************ this is not a game guess who's on a quest bird's eye view, flew the coop, left the nest been on the road, with this roll of stress thinking "what kind of doors i can open next?" good workers show emotions? yes! but no success means….no success walking in the sand, steps get ocean swept know an undertow's not what to stroke against ********************************** is that wack to you? __________________ Chill Phil** My rep hand is NOT WAY strong anymore.

12-23-2013, 09:01 PM	#2
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	Yes its wack. All but the 7th line, thats dope. the 8th has potential but your wording fucked it.. __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

12-23-2013, 09:06 PM	#3
Badweather Chillin' like FUCK!!! Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,850 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 0	it's liquid gold i tell you! __________________ Chill Phil My rep hand is NOT WAY strong anymore.

12-23-2013, 10:34 PM	#5
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	He's got the Chyeah disease. He's the type that people that people think are nice but in all reality they're the worst. S'why (Copyright Neighbor) I dislike him. Stick to audio! __________________ Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder

12-23-2013, 11:23 PM	#8
Badweather Chillin' like FUCK!!! Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,850 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 0	it's not a text verse, that's for sure __________________ Chill Phil My rep hand is NOT WAY strong anymore.

12-23-2013, 10:13 PM	#4
Certain Mad fucking dangerous. Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 12,066 Battle Record: 40-19 Champed - AOWL Season 3 - Art of Writing League (2x) Rep Power: 85899406	Why do you think you are too good for the Open Mic forum?

12-23-2013, 10:58 PM	#6
Dope girl Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: I live in Florida Posts: 4,789 Battle Record: 3-8 Rep Power: 55521419	lames 1/10

12-23-2013, 10:59 PM	#7
Dope girl Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: I live in Florida Posts: 4,789 Battle Record: 3-8 Rep Power: 55521419	its cool cuz text not for everyone, need more work take a while if u beginner.

12-23-2013, 11:31 PM	#9
Certain Mad fucking dangerous. Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 12,066 Battle Record: 40-19 Champed - AOWL Season 3 - Art of Writing League (2x) Rep Power: 85899406	Yes, it is. You see the original post? You see how there's text there? You see how it's in verse form? It's a text verse. __________________ I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws.

12-23-2013, 11:31 PM	#10
Natural Senior Member Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 659 Rep Power: 0	Eh. Hearing it would do more justice. As is its below par. Imho. Not to say if I heard it I would dislike Because delivery can change everything.

12-24-2013, 10:08 AM	#13
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	I think you posted these before? Anyway, I thought they were dope....rhymes were cool, it flowed for the most part and your word choice was strong. I'm not really sure what standards other people have, but all I look for is a piece that makes sense, rhymes well, and gives me something to think about...and this did. Not mind blowingly awesome...but definitely not wack, it was very short and you didn't go into too much detail as to what you were referring to, but it is solid writing. __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.

12-24-2013, 10:10 AM	#14
Dope girl Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: I live in Florida Posts: 4,789 Battle Record: 3-8 Rep Power: 55521419	ppl got different taste in music, I'm not feeling it tho. but, its need Punchlines,creativity. complexity, & flows.