RATE these LYRICS (8 lines)
 

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this is not a game guess who's on a quest
bird's eye view, flew the coop, left the nest
been on the road, with this roll of stress
thinking "what kind of doors i can open next?"

good workers show emotions? yes!
but no success means….no success
walking in the sand, steps get ocean swept
know an undertow's not what to stroke against

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is that wack to you?

Yes its wack. All but the 7th line, thats dope. the 8th has potential but your wording fucked it..

it's liquid gold i tell you!

Why do you think you are too good for the Open Mic forum?

He's got the Chyeah disease. He's the type that people that people think are nice but in all reality they're the worst. S'why (Copyright Neighbor) I dislike him.

Stick to audio!

lames 1/10

its cool cuz text not for everyone, need more work take a while if u beginner.

it's not a text verse, that's for sure

Yes, it is. You see the original post? You see how there's text there? You see how it's in verse form? It's a text verse.

Eh. Hearing it would do more justice.
As is its below par. Imho.
Not to say if I heard it I would dislike
Because delivery can change everything.

it's already in a song recorded over a week ago

there's a totally different formula for text verses versus verse verses

the realest post ITT

I think you posted these before?

Anyway, I thought they were dope....rhymes were cool, it flowed for the most part and your word choice was strong.

I'm not really sure what standards other people have, but all I look for is a piece that makes sense, rhymes well, and gives me something to think about...and this did.

Not mind blowingly awesome...but definitely not wack, it was very short and you didn't go into too much detail as to what you were referring to, but it is solid writing.

ppl got different taste in music, I'm not feeling it tho.
but, its need Punchlines,creativity. complexity, & flows.