Strange Fruit Burning

ACTIVATE SELF · 04-25-2018, 11:19 PM

deleted

PancakeBrah · 04-25-2018, 11:35 PM

First four lines were solid.

2tripple0 · 04-26-2018, 06:57 PM

Dont know man instead of being so horrible to ypur haracters in your story try being nice to them nah what i mean i guess i have no idea where these people are going to end up instead of oh your just gping to die in the end think about where your taking the reader er sumn... what do i know just feels like theres a real feeling of like revenge er sumn but i liked pieces of this story you were creative at times i guess..

ACTIVATE SELF · 04-28-2018, 11:10 AM

No doubt on both counts

04-25-2018, 11:35 PM	#2
PancakeBrah SOBER Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 12,480 Battle Record: 2-5 Champed - AOWL Season 2 Rep Power: 85899407	First four lines were solid. __________________ Netcees 2025 Revivalist Movement Founder

04-26-2018, 06:57 PM	#3
2tripple0 death warmed over Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Downstairs illstreet dam Posts: 2,564 Battle Record: 6-21 Rep Power: 0	Dont know man instead of being so horrible to ypur haracters in your story try being nice to them nah what i mean i guess i have no idea where these people are going to end up instead of oh your just gping to die in the end think about where your taking the reader er sumn... what do i know just feels like theres a real feeling of like revenge er sumn but i liked pieces of this story you were creative at times i guess.. __________________ https://soundcloud.com/user-876573949/ https://soundcloud.com/user-634430314/