Strange Fruit Burning
 

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First four lines were solid.

Dont know man instead of being so horrible to ypur haracters in your story try being nice to them nah what i mean i guess i have no idea where these people are going to end up instead of oh your just gping to die in the end think about where your taking the reader er sumn... what do i know just feels like theres a real feeling of like revenge er sumn but i liked pieces of this story you were creative at times i guess..

No doubt on both counts