Orc 2-3 vs Mr. J 0-0 - ORC WINS

[Sharp]

Netcees Battle League Season VIII

Rules

Due Dates:

• Verses are due Thursday, July 9th 2015 11:59 PM PST. and will be open until the following Sunday
• Battles that lack votes may close later.
• One sided battles may get closed early.
• Extensions are 24 hours

Line Limit:

• Minimum of 10, maximum of 16
• If not agreed upon, second drop must match length of the first

For additional Rules refer to rule thread


First to 5, win by at least two votes
@Orc @Mr. J

[Mr. J]

Bet your top dollar this is murder, nah this accidental, let's blanket dawwwg
I had you backwards, & hit you with a 'cro'bar to turn you into J's son Todd

my verses are acid flowers that grow wild, & suit the style I give
when he write verses. he think gold blooms I'm like nah "Thats one big pile of shit"

If dude calls me a bitch, I'll slap this pussy, I'm a boss. it's about to show fam
keep it drug related & put bread on his head & call him Powdered Toast Man

the last battle I was in was Shadow boxing, "What's the risk?" he's asking
You dope? bring that list in, 'cause I'll play Ali this time around & just eclipse this faggot

this was on a whim, he's prolly doing research in a Batman tshirt gloating at home
I find it funny cause the irony shows..that I have another dead man ghosting my posts

if he beats the breaks off me, I'll just get gassed & take it to his own lane
maybe that explains the whole reason I got up in that ass like it was road rage

[Orc]

hi Qwarterz

I'm the Last King of Freshness. I'll Blind u 4 being frail wen u see trouble
Ya Teeth'll make a Lasting Impression.. & u'll read Braille offa Each Knuckle
J won't make a killer post here. YOOO -> Is Jim a dope peer?
U'll Get Cut when the Nasal Stick Out... & u need to trim that Nose Hair
Fuck this Clowns smirking. Once the Louds working O's so Stellar
Doggg... You'll Catch A Body quickaa than Crowd Surfing at Coachella
U still hot & street? Nah, u gotta be offed, honestly. It's gotta be
1 cut'll leave him witha Permanent Smile that'd make his Laughing Gas obsolete
It's so so wack that u tryna come with ''oh no!'' No Holds Facts
& how you Been Stalked I find it reaaaal ironic that You Don't Know Jack
This dork bitch is gonna die. && Orc IS the God of Lime
Shit. U can check ANY Jewelry Store & realise Quartz is a Common find

Honey, I'm home.

[Split Eight]

Orc:

Braille- fucking ill
Quartz
Don't know jack

Q:
Deadman
I'll give you crowbar

Qwarterz had all bad misses besides those IMO, and I'd give Orc LOTB with the Braille bar

Gotta go V/ Orc

[Bash]

Dead man

Vs

Opener Lotb, laughing gas, don't know jack

V/Orc. More polished n better worded.

[Amen.]

opener had potential, maddddddddddddd wordy tho bro. appreciate the creativity tho.
gold blooms was mild
bread on his head was mild needed harsher execution
didn't get the eclipse faggot reference?
dead man had potential - execution was mild tho
up in the as/road rage really isn't a connection - think you could have did better w/ that.

vs

lasting impression I've seen you flip before, this one was better
nasal stick out was ok
catch a body I didn't like too much
Laughin gas was cool
been stalked is an older wp/reference your flip was cool tho
quartz was ok but on the simple side

J need to execute his concepts a little harsher and he'll be straight.

orc got it

[fraze]

Originally Posted by Mr. J

Bet your top dollar this is murder, nah this accidental, let's blanket dawwwg
I had you backwards, & hit you with a 'cro'bar to turn you into J's son Todd
this is ok, but too wordy in the punch. if you try to force in too much word play people will read it as forced
my verses are acid flowers that grow wild, & suit the style I give
when he write verses. he think gold blooms I'm like nah "Thats one big pile of shit"
nice poetic bar. this style can work, but you need to have a better flip if you want this to hit in a battle verse. cool idea, but needs to be harsher.
If dude calls me a bitch, I'll slap this pussy, I'm a boss. it's about to show fam
keep it drug related & put bread on his head & call him Powdered Toast Man
concept is there, but more silly than hard hitting
the last battle I was in was Shadow boxing, "What's the risk?" he's asking
You dope? bring that list in, 'cause I'll play Ali this time around & just eclipse this faggot
nah. should pass on this
this was on a whim, he's prolly doing research in a Batman tshirt gloating at home
I find it funny cause the irony shows..that I have another dead man ghosting my posts
nice concept, but if you want this to hit, you have to set up the punch better. why is there another dead man ghosting you? set up the flip to work two ways.
if he beats the breaks off me, I'll just get gassed & take it to his own lane
maybe that explains the whole reason I got up in that ass like it was road rage
this is basically filler. skip these bars.

Originally Posted by Orc

I'm the Last King of Freshness. I'll Blind u 4 being frail wen u see trouble
Ya Teeth'll make a Lasting Impression.. & u'll read Braille offa Each Knuckle
nice concept. cool bar
J won't make a killer post here. YOOO -> Is Jim a dope peer?
U'll Get Cut when the Nasal Stick Out... & u need to trim that Nose Hair
meh. this is ok but not a huge fan.
Fuck this Clowns smirking. Once the Louds working O's so Stellar
Doggg... You'll Catch A Body quickaa than Crowd Surfing at Coachella
nice. i liked this.
U still hot & street? Nah, u gotta be offed, honestly. It's gotta be
1 cut'll leave him witha Permanent Smile that'd make his Laughing Gas obsolete
nah. don't feel like you set this up well
It's so so wack that u tryna come with ''oh no!'' No Holds Facts
& how you Been Stalked I find it reaaaal ironic that You Don't Know Jack
nice punch, but the setup seems like filler
This dork bitch is gonna die. && Orc IS the God of Lime
Shit. U can check ANY Jewelry Store & realise Quartz is a Common find
cool punch

This was a cool battle. I think Qwarterz had some interesting concepts, but he might still be adjusting to the differences between text battles and topicals. Basically, harsher wording and a strong emphasis on wordplay. If he can adjust and work on his concepts I think he'll do well.

It's nice to see Orc coming back into form. There were a few misses for me, but it was mostly a pretty solid verse. Looking forward to reading more and I hope he maintains the consistency.

Vote: Orc

[sral]

Okay so I got Orc winning here, but goddamn that verse sucked ass compared to what he can/has brought. WTF?

Seriously only felt the 'lasting impression' line from him was anywhere near decent, the reast flopped harder than a Robranda titty imo.


J has a few good concepts and ideas, but the wording let him down and that spacing between bars crap needs to go. Not a good battle by any means, sorry bros, just calling it as I see it.

Orc very slightly edging this.

[Ace]

i see where J was going with his lines, but wasnt executed to my liking.. felt thr ghost line tho. Orc just came better.. Lasting impression was a fresh flip, lotb.. and coachella was coo.. overall better verse

v Orc

[Bust]

Mr j

Opener was ooook
Thought dead man coulda been dope with a better setup..
Honestly I had dope concepts just sloppy wording.. If u tightened that shit up n didn't chop it sooo much sounds really nice.. First I read from u but looking forward to readin more


Orc, iunno I pretty much lije ur entire verse.. Some bars weren't that harsh or ur set ups coulda related better but damn to include that rhyme scheme like that made this a very enjoyable read.. Damn good shit bro..well structured verse with solid punches.. Nice shit..


Vote orc

[Lotto Smirk]

Orc got this he had

Braille , laughing gas n don't know jack

Braille line the others we're nice polished wording seen you do better but solid verse

Mr.j had

Deadman

I was close to quoting another,but I felt they wernt to hard hitting to quote, I've read some of your stuff and I was honestly expecting you to come better.

Vote orc

[Ronin]

This was a let down. Mr j had concepts but poor execution and over worded. Orc came with just enough to win with the coachella line, which was still meh, and the quartz np.

V/ orc

[Tic]

Originally Posted by Mr. J

Bet your top dollar this is murder, nah this accidental, let's blanket dawwwg
I had you backwards, & hit you with a 'cro'bar to turn you into J's son Todd
Cool.
my verses are acid flowers that grow wild, & suit the style I give
when he write verses. he think gold blooms I'm like nah "Thats one big pile of shit"
Ehh.
If dude calls me a bitch, I'll slap this pussy, I'm a boss. it's about to show fam
keep it drug related & put bread on his head & call him Powdered Toast Man
Eh.
the last battle I was in was Shadow boxing, "What's the risk?" he's asking
You dope? bring that list in, 'cause I'll play Ali this time around & just eclipse this faggot
I don't get this. Statementish.
this was on a whim, he's prolly doing research in a Batman tshirt gloating at home
I find it funny cause the irony shows..that I have another dead man ghosting my posts
Home/Posts doesn't rhyme. Otherwise this was nice.
if he beats the breaks off me, I'll just get gassed & take it to his own lane
maybe that explains the whole reason I got up in that ass like it was road rage
Ok concept but again, doesn't rhyme. Executed a bit mild.

Originally Posted by Orc

hi Qwarterz

I'm the Last King of Freshness. I'll Blind u 4 being frail wen u see trouble
Ya Teeth'll make a Lasting Impression.. & u'll read Braille offa Each Knuckle
Nicely worded old concept.
J won't make a killer post here. YOOO -> Is Jim a dope peer?
U'll Get Cut when the Nasal Stick Out... & u need to trim that Nose Hair
Nah.
Fuck this Clowns smirking. Once the Louds working O's so Stellar
Doggg... You'll Catch A Body quickaa than Crowd Surfing at Coachella
This is ok.
U still hot & street? Nah, u gotta be offed, honestly. It's gotta be
1 cut'll leave him witha Permanent Smile that'd make his Laughing Gas obsolete
Not bad. be/lete is a bit of a stretch, but it sounds ok.
It's so so wack that u tryna come with ''oh no!'' No Holds Facts
& how you Been Stalked I find it reaaaal ironic that You Don't Know Jack
Lol I like it but bean/been don't sound the same.
This dork bitch is gonna die. && Orc IS the God of Lime
Shit. U can check ANY Jewelry Store & realise Quartz is a Common find
Nicely worded but meh.
Honey, I'm home.

Orc got it. His bars were worded much harsher. Mr. J had some cool concepts but they weren't worded as effectively as they could've been.

EDIT: After re-reading my vote doesn't change, but that dead man line was pretty nice from Mr. J, despite the fact that it doesn't really rhyme. This battle was closer than expected, but Orc still gets it for me.

V/ Orc

[Hush]

Originally Posted by Mr. J

Bet your top dollar this is murder, nah this accidental, let's blanket dawwwg
I had you backwards, & hit you with a 'cro'bar to turn you into J's son Todd
I get it, ok. kind of reaching but its cool tho. alot of layers
my verses are acid flowers that grow wild, & suit the style I give
when he write verses. he think gold blooms I'm like nah "Thats one big pile of shit"
llol this is filler bro, it dont have to be all punchlines, i like regular disses too but i wasnt diggin this
If dude calls me a bitch, I'll slap this pussy, I'm a boss. it's about to show fam
keep it drug related & put bread on his head & call him Powdered Toast Man
lolllll fire
the last battle I was in was Shadow boxing, "What's the risk?" he's asking
You dope? bring that list in, 'cause I'll play Ali this time around & just eclipse this faggot
sonny liston, why didnt u say sonny bring that list in? it even rhymes with eclipse him.. heres another hint, when u end a line on adjective it hurts it alot, alot alot. u want to end on the impact. in this instance it would of been optimal to end on either ali, sonny, listin, or a boxing reference fyi
this was on a whim, he's prolly doing research in a Batman tshirt gloating at home
I find it funny cause the irony shows..that I have another dead man ghosting my posts
this was dope too. very sick. Im fucking with u b
if he beats the breaks off me, I'll just get gassed & take it to his own lane
maybe that explains the whole reason I got up in that ass like it was road rage
eh but aight

Originally Posted by Orc

hi Qwarterz

I'm the Last King of Freshness. I'll Blind u 4 being frail wen u see trouble
Ya Teeth'll make a Lasting Impression.. & u'll read Braille offa Each Knuckle
I'm going to need you to PM me the explanation to this bar b, no kidding. Its like the lasting impression thing could of been flippped into a bar i know u can do that, and the read braille off a each knuckle is like a seperate concept i KNOW u can make into a fire bar. so wtf happened here man, u merged them intoa clusterfuck
J won't make a killer post here. YOOO -> Is Jim a dope peer?
U'll Get Cut when the Nasal Stick Out... & u need to trim that Nose Hair
FIRRRRRRRRE omg mega dope. this is what I miss. ppl doing there own lane, this shit is crazy hot b, good shit
Fuck this Clowns smirking. Once the Louds working O's so Stellar
Doggg... You'll Catch A Body quickaa than Crowd Surfing at Coachella
light, very light but ok
U still hot & street? Nah, u gotta be offed, honestly. It's gotta be
1 cut'll leave him witha Permanent Smile that'd make his Laughing Gas obsolete
lol this hit rlly hard especially cuz he plays up the joker angle so much.. dope personal
It's so so wack that u tryna come with ''oh no!'' No Holds Facts
& how you Been Stalked I find it reaaaal ironic that You Don't Know Jack
not feeling this, its almost incoherent b, u rushed this a ton
This dork bitch is gonna die. && Orc IS the God of Lime
Shit. U can check ANY Jewelry Store & realise Quartz is a Common find
forced but its creative and still "made sense" meaning id idnt have to struggle to get it..
Honey, I'm home.

this was REAAAAAALLY close
J had some fire but then he had some real bad filler, Orc also had fire, and had bad lines but atleast he was TRYING to punch

v.Orc

[Maximus]

Bet your top dollar this is murder, nah this accidental, let's blanket dawwwg
I had you backwards, & hit you with a 'cro'bar to turn you into J's son Todd
Ok, basic idea but didn't really hit
my verses are acid flowers that grow wild, & suit the style I give
when he write verses. he think gold blooms I'm like nah "Thats one big pile of shit"
This failed completely
If dude calls me a bitch, I'll slap this pussy, I'm a boss. it's about to show fam
keep it drug related & put bread on his head & call him Powdered Toast Man
Better but poorly worded, u had two 'ands' in one line which weakened the bar's impact
the last battle I was in was Shadow boxing, "What's the risk?" he's asking
You dope? bring that list in, 'cause I'll play Ali this time around & just eclipse this faggot
Not feeling much
this was on a whim, he's prolly doing research in a Batman tshirt gloating at home
I find it funny cause the irony shows..that I have another dead man ghosting my posts
Cool actually
if he beats the breaks off me, I'll just get gassed & take it to his own lane
maybe that explains the whole reason I got up in that ass like it was road rage
Weak closer
Not a solid verse by any means but definitely wasn't complete garbage either, work on ur wording and be more creative with ya concepts.
Vs
I'm the Last King of Freshness. I'll Blind u 4 being frail wen u see trouble
Ya Teeth'll make a Lasting Impression.. & u'll read Braille offa Each Knuckle
Didn't like this
J won't make a killer post here. YOOO -> Is Jim a dope peer?
U'll Get Cut when the Nasal Stick Out... & u need to trim that Nose Hair
Dope bro
Fuck this Clowns smirking. Once the Louds working O's so Stellar
Doggg... You'll Catch A Body quickaa than Crowd Surfing at Coachella
Aight
U still hot & street? Nah, u gotta be offed, honestly. It's gotta be
1 cut'll leave him witha Permanent Smile that'd make his Laughing Gas obsolete
Ok
It's so so wack that u tryna come with ''oh no!'' No Holds Facts
& how you Been Stalked I find it reaaaal ironic that You Don't Know Jack
Played concept and this wasn't flipped creatively either
This dork bitch is gonna die. && Orc IS the God of Lime
Shit. U can check ANY Jewelry Store & realise Quartz is a Common find
Not a very solid showing from u compared to usual drops but there were some lines that did like and ur verse flowed better than ur contender's.
V/orc

[ribbit]

Aye I got orc taking this one. His lines were more polished and a lot of the time I couldnt understand Mr. J anyways this battle was pretty one sided orc had note quotables and an overall better drop. I think mr. J has to work on landing his punches. His shit was just too oblique. I haven't heard of half the shit he dropped.. Aye so ..

Vote//orc

[Cred]

Deadman

vs

Opener, & coachella

Nothing duper dope from neithrr. Mr j needs sum frsher & harsher executed lines. Orc did him & had enough for yhe dub. Sharper wording n concepts

V ote Orc

[Unfukwitable]

If dude calls me a bitch, I'll slap this pussy, I'm a boss. it's about to show fam
keep it drug related & put bread on his head & call him Powdered Toast Man
this was on a whim, he's prolly doing research in a Batman tshirt gloating at home
I find it funny cause the irony shows..that I have another dead man ghosting my posts

felt like you couldve worded ya opener alil better like I understood it but it didn't come out smooth to me, the sonny liston idea something I seen and i think u couldve just scrapped that it didn't have that stand out feel, but the Powdered toast man bar was nice lol.

vs

J won't make a killer post here. YOOO -> Is Jim a dope peer?
U'll Get Cut when the Nasal Stick Out... & u need to trim that Nose Hair
U still hot & street? Nah, u gotta be offed, honestly. It's gotta be
1 cut'll leave him witha Permanent Smile that'd make his Laughing Gas obsolete

I didn't like the Jack n the Been stalk wordplay it messed the bar up imo, the opener was cool idea wise but I didn't like the braille tie in, Nose hair bars was solid and the Permanent smile line was firee.


....

Winner had the better quotes and misses imo.. v/Orc