WEEK FIVE: CANDY (0-4) vs FRANK (0-0) FRANK WINS 5-1

[Adverse]

AOWL Season X WEEK FIVE

Verse Due: TUESDAY APRIL 26TH @ 11:59PM EST

@Frank @Candy

Line min: 10

Max: 60


Rules: http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=150311

This week’s topics are song titles by my favorite band, The Wonder Years.

Topic:
“A RAINDANCE IN TRAFFIC”


GOOD LUCK

[Candy]

innnsah

vote:

http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=150423
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=150419
http://www.netcees.org/showthread.php?t=150420

[Candy]

Topic:
“A RAINDANCE IN TRAFFIC”

..

A tale of two Princesses on a CROSSROAD and their Character
..*starring - one little Jehovah witness girl..

..

At the age of 8 before art was *ART
Two princesses sat together on on chair - no arms
The future was for the name of farther and further
The papers, all the holes and every soul that was to be nurtured
We were both advanced in sound and class
Which means even our reflection captured nothing in the glass
We sat and toiled as soil mounted and freedom flew
Through flu's, the news and even a blue veins through and through
The flag we held was of great importance
One of a nigger by quality of life style
One of a nigger by flesh that day dreamed of *all the while
Already advanced - they both conquered what would be known as higher education on their first day of school
....
..
held back for their insolence to farther they were split by gender rules..*
..
...
We slept together as sirs, one a lion one a hideous beast
Until one said after a question of dominance what is in reach
The black nigger said she touched my vagina
The deaf nigger said she touched my ears
the sound of the Princess known as Jonny Knows Candy tasted like apple
The black flesh peeled from the very first Birth of her nigger child still titled as Princess Meghan Markle................. +++++

the crossroad formed as the farthers names had been laid
one backing life continuous even after sacrifice for her dreams
The other lie senseless from dumb to dissociate as it seemed

By the natural order of they surpassed all teachings and found a corner
where the world fell of the linear realms and all that was left was dissorder
One harboured it, beloved the fact that even in sleep it knew no difference
The other hop around and danced with it until it became democracy at its finest=====================

......$$$......

still only children one with no sexual agender because it was of nothing still..
one raping every breath because an infinite 0 is still a zero filled..

They both watch one blind and one in r.e.m
as they both surpassed the elders that crossed the land of all thats between

And there they stand face to face on a mountain top
with one little Jehovah witness girl who had seemed to have crossed
One hears nothing even sexual war that rawed like an instrument itself
The other crawled and huddled blindly following the girl to a kingdom of "HELL"
{}{}{}{}{}
For in Meghan's life even the devil is good because you can fuck it away
For in Candy's life you would have to be the devil and all it demons just to breathe another day.....

curiosity started to form in a kingdom where they both had earnt their royalty
of a King of Soule's and a Queen of a Disciple
-
because only their language could speak Markle tongue grew
into a snake through the queens head and to the life she sexually knew
aborting child after child but still keeping her head up she never touched that little Jehovah witness girl
Jonny mute was for the most part lost in such a world of what even was real

Kings Came and went queens flourished with no decision on what to do..
there was two princess with their own hierarchy if they only knew
but they fought for who they are and what they believed...
eventually the little Jehovah witness girl stood on both of their beings..
as the little Jehovah witness girl fell through two worlds untouched
one eventually clasp what would be the answer to all thing such..

a child of fiction was born a copy of Princess Candy
All documentation of their existence was erased as the little Jehovah witness girl landed.....

On the way through with the answer to life "little Princess Meghan Markle" touched the crown of that girls belief
the irony itself is she was now a girl and Candy a boy.......

As the times went on the realty of NIGGER became NIGGAH and Princess Jonny Knows Candy was left as no more then a toy..

a pre Madonna, a statue of something that idoled at the wrong time
So he got fitted and bound to the objects created by a fresh hierarchy and governed in line

war now existed through sound and the tree of knoweldge birth the tree of money
Candy became Aaron "a step in the right direction" with quotations like "isnt that funny"

The first bowl was found the first table shaped..
but As the little Jehovah witness girl grew curious no gate she ever made
none open none before
but in the world of Princess Meghan Markle there was rules and rulers galore
..
as the taste of candys apple got ate it turned into a coin
so though Aaron was rich in concept
Princess Meghan Markle owned a % of all that was set.. TAX BET - FLESH
The little Jehovah witness girl ended up being split in three
and with her final breath of remembrance reached out to what she remember of the *THREE

a vagina..

There Aaron stood before the kingdom, and before the gates
And the three little Jehovah witness girls the last thing they remembered was
That Princess Jonny Knows Candy is her "NAME"
..

THE END

..

[Frank]

Check

[Frank]

****************
***********
*******
****
**
*

The rearview windshield wipers were acting erratic, they dragged; dragging, dragged, and draggethed
Until the rain stopped, and the rain drops, ricocheted off, making the radio station waves play soft
While the rain— — —
Unabashedly blasted
The rain grew more and more manic & rapid, until the vision diluted, dripping with dewness
The windows were muted, the misconstrument, shattered the glasses

The rain daggered in patterns

Splattering backwards
It laggard & lacquered
Although it hadn't mattered

The rear view wind shield wiper was enamored and flattered

*

Flashes of lightning & thunder, and rain striking the bumper, like an excitable muffler’s mechanics reaction!
Somebody's hand is waving, at a drab location, a passenger waiting—

standing with baggage

The Cabbie is acting: as if, the passenger’s hands aren't actively apparent, as if the man’s hands were just, fanning Manhattan

The passengers are waving for the cab in an elaborate fashion

The watches on there wrists, washed & rinsed, disbandment, disbanded, Nano's elapsing
The Black Hands have umbrellas, as the ugly weather shuns their endeavors
Dampening action
The rearview windshield wiper got the tail end
Of the rain fall
And the windshield wipers waned and stalled
And the breaks of the car were delayed by the storm

The traction was lacking

The pitter patterning became disenchanting, the intermittent, continuous tapping, hitting the black tint

****************
***********
*******
****
**
*

The rearview windshield wiper swished on the backend and this pattern relaxed him

****************
***********
*******
****
**
*

The driver looked out of his window, at the Negro, at the disadvantaged address
They were dripping, so, he swiftly drove past them, whipping so fast that he splashed them — with malice
The rain was like lashes, to the back of the wagon, the wrath & the scratches
The Jazz Band continued waving, brandishing classic, water proof watches on their wrist

As they withstanded harassment

The Jazz Band grabbed the back end of the taxi cab, demanding access

And the man automatically latched it

The Rain had made it all seem rather romantic
The city streets, looked pretty clean, for once, for a trashy encampment
Rain washed away the vandalism & all the yellowing Taxis

ambered and vanished

****************
***********
*******
****
**
*

Wreaking absolute havoc, each rain drop, precipitated on the gray block, anticlimactic

****************
***********
*******
****
**
*

The Taxi was acting stagnant, as the rain fell fast and sporadic
The rearview windshield wiper
Got too damp & matted to distract the rain—from its blanching and blatting
The Jazz Band waved their hands, wearing their embarrassment, like patent and satin
They were transparent, the overcast dramatically blanded there blackness

The Taxi Cabs Window Pane reflected passing sadness

As the Taxi driver made eye contact with the flashy Jazzmen through saturated caplets
The Jazz Band jammed on their sax — the indiscriminate blues
The Saxophone blasted the riveting tunes, like sirens in puddles, ambulances in action
The rain calloused the Jazz Bands ambient palate and the jazz band became abandoned with static
The Taxi Drivers passengers scattered— while The Jazz Band scatted

The cabbie fastened and strapped in

Peering through his rearview at the Band belting the last of their encapsulant ballad
The Jazz Band tapped their feet

Enhanced by the beat

The Taxi turned on the meter and emphatically asked the Black Band —

“What’s happening, Jackson?”

Rain managed to gash him before he could bring the bags with their sax in
How to hail a cab

Rain Dancing In Traffic

[timeless]

Candy, On my first 2 reads, this is what i got for you..
i mean what the fuck? No offense just seemed like a bunch of noise to make some noise in manpoem form. Half my family is jehovahs witness, it doesnt seem that youre too educated on the subject or youre just defaming it unintentionally or whatever but hey. I read your verse a couple times trying to make some sense of it. I dont know what all the n-word usage was about, seemed random and disputed. What does meghan markle have to do with any of the lines you put her in? I feel like the judge at the end of billy madison and candy comes back at me with a "a simple wrong wouldve been ok." Im pretty sure i just read close to 100 lines from you. I shouldve stopped at 20. Keep writing. You dont need to force everything so much. Take your time for once.

After a sleep and another read, here you go...


Francis, after one read, not two, unlike your opponent, let me speak my thoughts. You know your rhymes were dope and full of details but you lacked of any heightened eyebrow awareness from you readers. The first verse was too much lol honestly i got bored. Dope rhymes or not im tired of hearing about a damn wondshield wiper but you made up for it, possibly too redundant at a time or two. You knew what you were up against and you played your cards, so well done in that sense but this verse is a mere 4/10 in regards to your skills. You just lacked that pop, sir frank.

Vote /frank.

Candy needs to find his or her voice within these words. Frank knows his voice, and did more than enough for us to hear it here first.

[Eviction]

@Candy
Other people probably didn't like how you was using words in different ways it does sound weird but I liked that, farther/furthur, I woulnd't do that too much though. I can't read your verse aloud or people will think I'm a racist, I think AJ had the word nigger in his verse last wweek, you're dropping the hard R a lot LOL, I think you had a pretty solid piece this week sometimes your shit comes off as tangents/rants instead of an actual story.
@Frank
Holy mother of panic attacks I'm having right now because you panned your lines, annoying as hell, the writing is super dope though, a lot of cool rhyme schemes, you was doing the same thing candy was by using wordfs differently not sure if coincidence or you took a page out of his book, I'm setting here wondering if you fell a sleep on your keyboard.

The watches on there wrists, washed & rinsed, disbandment, disbanded, Nano's elapsing
The Black Hands have umbrellas, as the ugly weather shuns their endeavors
Dampening action
The rearview windshield wiper got the tail end
Of the rain fall
And the windshield wipers waned and stalled
And the breaks of the car were delayed by the storm


This section was amazing, I liked the storyline progression through out, and this section and prior pretty much solidified your win.

v/frank

[brokenhal0]

both verses where dope af some real textcee skillz much respect


candy - I understand the underlying allegory and abstraction pure brilliance
best verse you wrote this season for some strange reason i keep coming back to this abstract avant garde hiphop at it's trolliSh finest but still quite a deep poetic cipher.


Frank - This was a awesome mood piece dreary lofi sullen i felt the character and the rain but at times it did lack what i would call melodic charisma still quite haunting almost like a Christopher walken scene ...


vote - candy <why?! ...I understood it on a deeper level of abstraction the added symbol and effect was really a flex in text cee magic and i re read it like 4 times ..frank also dropped some masterful work but it didn't quite speak the code candy invoked i enjoy abstract hip hop when done correctly candy by a nose hair

[Adverse]

Candy- I don’t know what Hal0 is understanding on a “deeper level” here maybe my third eye hasn’t been opened or some shit. I liked your approach last week, the storyline was almost linear and it had some cool setting usage/characters. This week was a jumbled mess, This week was a mess in my eyes, it’s like you see your topic, say “okay” and proceed to keystyle 100 lines that don’t even really pertain to it. Was really hard to follow and littered with the n word just because you wanted to say it. Topicals can work with super weird topics (see every Universe verse for reference) but there’s little to no thought process in your writing, it’s honestly on par with Sinacog.

Frank - this was a nice verse. Can see why you’re a former champion right here. The use of poetic language, bringing the visuals to life, alliteration. Stuff like that makes for a great written. Repetition is a slippery slope but I think it worked in your favor here, came off less annoying and flowed well like a poem, had a real Langston Hughes vibe to it. Didn’t think you had any kind of problem here winning.

V/Frank more coherent and entertaining m, as well as a bigger showing of skill

[NYCSPITZ]

Candy you had a nice setup for what could’ve been some like Harry Potter fantasy tale that would somehow tie in to raindacing in traffic, then you started talking about nigger this and nigger that and getting into politics? Makes no sense and I just wasn’t feeling it at all. I wish you would just stick to a topic and flesh it out for once, man. Your verses are really all over the place.

Frank’s verse was alright, seen much better from him and some of the delivery was sloppy but overall the usual strength of unique flow stands out and thought it was a cool verse with a nice michael jackson twist at the end. Hoping to see some gems from u as the season goes on.

V/ frank

[Adonis]

Candy - the writers voice is strong, like even while reading Nigger it all still sounded so somber in my mind. But that's about my only true compliment. I was lost, felt like you skipped around too much. You never focused to long on anything, felt a little like click bate in writing form if you will, I guess that's shock value. You really do need to write your 100 lines the first day topics posted, but not post. Come back to it, find what you're trying to say, and let it simmer or flower.

Franker - I missed you guy, some fine writing here, I'm already inspired to write for next week, thank you. Loved the topic flip, even though I don't know if it's a flip if you took it literal, but none the less a fresh flip. Fine wording and nuanced flow scattered and smattered about like so. Enjoyed thoroughly even if common rhymes were used, you still packed them in. Good imagery, especially in opening explaining the rains drops if you will. Glad you're back, I do hope you stick around

V / Frank

The better written verse thematically, in execution and in polish.