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#11 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2023
Posts: 349
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Candy
The rhyme schemes in the beginning is forced like near buckling/ duckling that whole section had forced rhyme schemes, it kind of gets better and I can see you have got better overall as a writer, just polish up them rhyme scheme. Mike From the opening two lines I can already tell I'm going to like your piece better than your opponents, voluntary prison was dope, you was able to carry on that scheme for several lines without it loosing depth, not liking the ending, as you wasted a good spot by repeating the same thing, overall this was a good drop. V/ mike His piece seemed less lazy, a lot of candy seemed rushed together, and a lot of I'm going to write this just because it rhymes. |
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