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#5 |
WOW
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,591
Battle Record: 29-25
Champed - Writing Challenge League I
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Ok after such a long read I’m gonna make the vote kind of brief.
Halo- started out strong , pulled me in as a reader right off the bat. Good end rhymes. Everything was firing on all cylinders. But the entire middle section, the story kind of veered off away from the monsters and included a sub plot with a love interest. Imo in topicals we don’t have the space for sub plots. Also the rhyming got a little more simplistic in this section. Finish was strong though. Also really captured Manhattan in such a way that I think you live in NY Frank - this was a fun read as well. Multis didn’t amaze me in your usual fashion but you definitely created a scene and a vibe that really encapsulated the ny attitude. You stayed focused throughout and never strayed. I was invested. Overall- very very close. I actually think Halos length hurt him here. The middle section dragged on and felt like filler. His highs were better than Frank’s but his lows were lower. I’m gonna vote Frank for better focus on his main storyline and overall consistency. Vote - Frank
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40 bars of terror |
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