Netcees  

Go Back   Netcees > Vault > Archives > Art of Writing League Season X > AOWL Season X Archieves
Register FAQ Community Calendar Today's Posts Search

User Tag List

 
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Prev Previous Post   Next Post Next
Old 04-21-2022, 10:14 PM   #9
Objective
( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º)
 
Objective's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 3,868
Battle Record: 17-32



Rep Power: 52474192
Objective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant futureObjective has a brilliant future
Default

Candy: WTF @ that ending, lol. Having a bit of an issue to catch where the story is going and what you're saying during my read through but the closure kind of wraps it up.

Timeless: I guess this is a story of a guy awake at night and where the topic comes into play. However, the switch up in "youth harnessed in slums ofull of what ifs and yes men" seemed a bit abrupt, there seems to be some sort of transition in there but what happened with the guy speeding with cops on his ass?

Vote: Slumber party of girls drinking period blood vs criminals at night and some dude speeding. The execution of both verses were meh to say the least so to me it comes down to the concept and the story being told. Slumber party of girls doing... Ye, not repeating that and "Children of the night"/criminals with some action packed sentences painting a different picture kinda makes both staying on topic.

In the end my vote goes to Timeless. Candy could have taken this if he didn't bring the story in the direction it took at the end, or even just been a bit more coherent overall.
__________________
I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave,
So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave.


www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o
Objective is offline  
 


Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 02:55 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2025, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
User Alert System provided by Advanced User Tagging (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2025 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Google+