WEEK TWO: ADONIS (1-0) vs BROKENHAL0 (1-0) HAL0 WINS 4-0

Adverse · 04-04-2022, 01:05 PM

Hal0:
I think you shined here in the same way that you shined last week, that being that your imagery was on point. The way you described these murder scenes was real American Psycho-esque, it provoked the senses much like you describing that hoarder mess from last weeks picture topic. I don’t think you shy away from imagery that some people would find hard to read, let alone write and I think that makes you a better writer because you are unpredictable in what you’re going to say. Though you took a literal approach I dug it completely, really liked this verse actually. Think you can be more coherent story wise though and believe you’ll have to be to hang with competition going forward.

Adonis:
First of all thanks for the name drop lol
I see you like to think outside the box on your topics and I appreciate that, this was another meta take akin to your drop from last week but I do think this one fell flat unfortunately, i felt like Universe had said in his vote that you started real solid and I was excited for more but didn’t like where it ended up going. I won’t reprimand you as much as he did over the topic being unoriginal because realistically I’m sure every topic has been done at least once so that’s not a concern of mine, what matters to me is execution but unfortunately I didn’t feel like you executed here, think you kind of botched a decent premise with all of the name drops and what not. You’re a good topical writer but this wasn’t a good topical.

Overall I’m voting for Hal0 for the better written, his imagery was formidable.

V/Hal0

04-04-2022, 01:05 PM	#5
Adverse low tide in serotonin bay Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 2,752 Battle Record: 37-28 Champed - GWL Picture Challenge - Guerrilla Writing League - Black August II Rep Power: 15446146	Hal0: I think you shined here in the same way that you shined last week, that being that your imagery was on point. The way you described these murder scenes was real American Psycho-esque, it provoked the senses much like you describing that hoarder mess from last weeks picture topic. I don’t think you shy away from imagery that some people would find hard to read, let alone write and I think that makes you a better writer because you are unpredictable in what you’re going to say. Though you took a literal approach I dug it completely, really liked this verse actually. Think you can be more coherent story wise though and believe you’ll have to be to hang with competition going forward. Adonis: First of all thanks for the name drop lol I see you like to think outside the box on your topics and I appreciate that, this was another meta take akin to your drop from last week but I do think this one fell flat unfortunately, i felt like Universe had said in his vote that you started real solid and I was excited for more but didn’t like where it ended up going. I won’t reprimand you as much as he did over the topic being unoriginal because realistically I’m sure every topic has been done at least once so that’s not a concern of mine, what matters to me is execution but unfortunately I didn’t feel like you executed here, think you kind of botched a decent premise with all of the name drops and what not. You’re a good topical writer but this wasn’t a good topical. Overall I’m voting for Hal0 for the better written, his imagery was formidable. V/Hal0