WEEK 9: Destroyer 5-3 VS Username 4-3 USER WINS

[Blue Bayou]

text prowess, calorie intake, even his foot size won
this guy dwarfs me in every category but mostly cuz he literally looks like one


Lol at the gimli reference.. chuckle worthy but saying he dwarfs you in text prowess isn't a good look for the impact of the punch


we need to get u help bro. forget about bars. this shit’s drastic
when ur friends tell u to ‘kick the hobbit’ it ain’t cuz they got British accents

Maybe it works maybe it doesn't... seems like a reach but okay

and the ones who stay silent have done bro a disgrace
like some kind of dyslexic aero... he’s taken a bilbo to the face...

This one/concept for sure doesn't work

gunbars won’t work on u. need eye of newt and a battle-honed axe
i dont want to smoke u, i want to whittle a pipe that looks like u and just smoke that

Wording not the smoothest , this was okay

go in on days off to shell out cells to switch from a home phone
u get called into work??? it’s cuz some kid just wished on a snow globe

Lol this was funny to me

my home you’ll find lego-less cuz i cant stand stepping on the shit in bare feet
in ur home u find Legolas, because u two fought side by side at Helm’s Deep.

Lego-less and leg a lass doesn't work....I'll over look it tho bcuz the punch doesn't even need the setup word association to be funny

des got a wife, true, but keeps a mistress and a girl for weekend cheating
user stays with three hos too, but only cuz it’s how he gives season’s greetings

This is a good example of a long-winded setup that doesn't need to be... "des got a wife, but keeps a side piece for weekend cheating " would be a lot cleaner imo... Santa hos / hoes jokes have been done a hundred times so even with the pic reference this is just okay to me


Vs

Bro, your head’s getting clowned for it’s shape
That thing looks like the spoon Finny’s been cooking on since 2008

Lmao funny site & pic reference .. this was jokes to me

You old fuck, I've got something biblical on the docket
First I'll dead you, then eat EVERY Werther's Original in your pocket

Lol funny old man swag I haven't seen before...not a bagger but the wording makes this enjoyable to me

Senile ass, but if we’re honest, I will murder this elf
If I told you to act your age, this picture would be an urn on a shelf

Cool concept...solid

Des hates his own race, and he’s been whining for years
Can’t even go grey in peace, he thinks whites are gentrifying his beard

Lol appreciate the concept... cool idea , solid jab

Orbital is JACKED, the one to the right of his snout's worse
That I's been at the center of a punch more than any in Scout's verse

Okay cool site reference again.. Dece

But one move or a squirm and I am shooting this worm
Lookin’ like Mr. Clean, dead for 30 years after losing to germs

Lmao...wording was butter...dead at someone saying who is Mr Clean

Someone sent me this pic, but really went the drastic route
Cuz Des’ been dead for years, his girl just photoshops the casket out

Lol I think this is a cool use of the pic...I can see it



Cool battle....both gave come better in previous weeks... Des a couple of the LOTR ideas I quite liked, others I didn't... User had a bit more variety and I think was more consistent...his much better wording made his punches land a lil stronger imo as well

Props to both User won this to me