WEEK 9: Artifice vs brokenhal0 Halo wins

Vulgar · 05-29-2020, 11:43 PM

Artifice - Your writing and rhyming structure reminds me a lot of a writer by the name of 'sematic' who used to be on a forum called Rapflava back in the 2003-2007 range. He had crisp, short lines and used a lot of wordplay and puns. This was solid, enjoyable. Favorite part: "ups & downs or in my case recesses and notches" - nice.

brokenhal0 - Interesting ending. I liked your ambitious take and flair, just in terms of the presentation and the way it was laid out. "Can you loan me the pieces?" was poignant line and I enjoyed that. It was unconventionally structured. I didn't think the ending had that much impact compared to the middle but that's just me. A cryptic ending - one of those 'think about it' lines.

Going with Artifice as it was the safer and more accurate take but this was a close battle!

thanks for the reads

05-29-2020, 11:43 PM	#9
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Artifice - Your writing and rhyming structure reminds me a lot of a writer by the name of 'sematic' who used to be on a forum called Rapflava back in the 2003-2007 range. He had crisp, short lines and used a lot of wordplay and puns. This was solid, enjoyable. Favorite part: "ups & downs or in my case recesses and notches" - nice. brokenhal0 - Interesting ending. I liked your ambitious take and flair, just in terms of the presentation and the way it was laid out. "Can you loan me the pieces?" was poignant line and I enjoyed that. It was unconventionally structured. I didn't think the ending had that much impact compared to the middle but that's just me. A cryptic ending - one of those 'think about it' lines. Going with Artifice as it was the safer and more accurate take but this was a close battle! thanks for the reads