WEEK 4: brokenhal0 vs Objectve vs Inno - 4-2 INNO WINS

Inno · 04-17-2020, 04:05 PM

Better:

She was new when she found me
perfect’ her hue, shining bright past boundaries
natural roots clinging deep to my valves
her dirt clean to the touch
her tears flowed, cleansing all that it showered
I stayed countless nights attached to her bosom
laying between blue clouds and a grassy cushion
giving her fruits to harvest with out condition
seasons of endless love in constant repetition
she is perfect...

she was new, back when she met me
colors a little dull now, little fading around her borders
Still clings to my heart, now jaded and old
still clean though I might have stains to my soul
and I blame her....
so I fight and fuss trying to change... her
the one who would nurture me without hesitation
her nature was my savior
but I betrayed her and changed my behavior
trading blue clouds for concrete outlines
from grassy knolls to beds fit with kings n queens size
her boundless fruit made me complacent and greedy
mothers milk was addictive but I drank wide eyed and hastily
now the well is running dry....

I remember when I met you, you’re still as beautiful
despite my stains you still want me to hold you
what i survive on you’re still providing the seeds for
behind those concrete outlines blue clouds adorn
although the planes have been all outlined in borders
the green of your good natural keeps order
history claims faults will repeat and reveal what is true
so I hope to never change you again
You where perfect the day I met you.

04-17-2020, 04:05 PM	#7
Inno Ad mini tator Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 10,025 Battle Record: 26-54 Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association - Black August - 1-2 Punch League Rep Power: 85899403	Better: She was new when she found me perfect’ her hue, shining bright past boundaries natural roots clinging deep to my valves her dirt clean to the touch her tears flowed, cleansing all that it showered I stayed countless nights attached to her bosom laying between blue clouds and a grassy cushion giving her fruits to harvest with out condition seasons of endless love in constant repetition she is perfect... she was new, back when she met me colors a little dull now, little fading around her borders Still clings to my heart, now jaded and old still clean though I might have stains to my soul and I blame her.... so I fight and fuss trying to change... her the one who would nurture me without hesitation her nature was my savior but I betrayed her and changed my behavior trading blue clouds for concrete outlines from grassy knolls to beds fit with kings n queens size her boundless fruit made me complacent and greedy mothers milk was addictive but I drank wide eyed and hastily now the well is running dry.... I remember when I met you, you’re still as beautiful despite my stains you still want me to hold you what i survive on you’re still providing the seeds for behind those concrete outlines blue clouds adorn although the planes have been all outlined in borders the green of your good natural keeps order history claims faults will repeat and reveal what is true so I hope to never change you again You where perfect the day I met you.