Quarter Finals: Pharaohs Army vs. Blue Bayou [BLUE BAYOU 5-0]

Scar · 08-03-2019, 12:28 AM

yoooo like lars i had it all typed up. im working with a chrome book and would touch the screen to scroll up and down, and i happened to accidentally clicked on one of the name as im touching the screen, took me to their page and was hoping the back button will take me back, well......it did but the feed was gone. i'm pretty fucking aggravated so im making this piece of shit short

vote/blue bayou

bayou had the better written work. although it lacked the linear narrative, which isn't really a prerequisite but more as a personal preference, the written was of higher calibre. pharaoh had instances of weird wording like "you can't just slip in" while its nothing wrong phonetically, it was lazily composed in my estimation. not to say blue didnt have any wording issue i.e. "demand subtraction" but they were far and in between. both concepts were as cliche as it gets as blue was very much a critique of war and its rhyme and reasons, while pharaoh opted for a linear narrative - and when i say linear it was really to a fault. the pacing was rigid to and the story was very much surface level, lacking any subtext to make it standout from similar type of verses. so my decision was weigh on the actual writing itself. again, blue was a bit more refined while pharaoh struggled with a more nuanced style of writing.

08-03-2019, 12:28 AM	#10
Scar Senior Member Join Date: May 2019 Posts: 566 Battle Record: 7-5 Champed - Guerrilla Writing League Rep Power: 5689709	yoooo like lars i had it all typed up. im working with a chrome book and would touch the screen to scroll up and down, and i happened to accidentally clicked on one of the name as im touching the screen, took me to their page and was hoping the back button will take me back, well......it did but the feed was gone. i'm pretty fucking aggravated so im making this piece of shit short vote/blue bayou bayou had the better written work. although it lacked the linear narrative, which isn't really a prerequisite but more as a personal preference, the written was of higher calibre. pharaoh had instances of weird wording like "you can't just slip in" while its nothing wrong phonetically, it was lazily composed in my estimation. not to say blue didnt have any wording issue i.e. "demand subtraction" but they were far and in between. both concepts were as cliche as it gets as blue was very much a critique of war and its rhyme and reasons, while pharaoh opted for a linear narrative - and when i say linear it was really to a fault. the pacing was rigid to and the story was very much surface level, lacking any subtext to make it standout from similar type of verses. so my decision was weigh on the actual writing itself. again, blue was a bit more refined while pharaoh struggled with a more nuanced style of writing.