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Old 07-13-2018, 01:15 PM   #1
veritas
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Default turn time off

Alex swallowed at the pain so clearly evident in her voice. “we have people like that in our world, too. People who say that freedom is no longer practical, that we must surrender it for a greater common good.”

“Fear them,” she whispered “They are the heart of evil. They tolerate tyranny; excuse it, compromise with it. In so doing, they always bring savagery and death upon the rest of us”.






Papa new guinea skinny, bellies bloat from famine

Believe it Ripley; its time to choose GOD or mammon

Hues of the halcyon crypto sporidium turrets emitted

If the shoe doesn’t fit, who gives a shit? Just make sure that you’re acquitted

Exhibit 9: Monitoring the conscious space-time in between each of your dreams

Conclusion: nothing that they could find is seen exactly as it seems.

Relax! it brings that stuff that seeps within the seams of meager means,

Then manifests as your thoughts begin to grow breeze eager wings.

Where it matters, you don’t. Right has always trumped true

Too soon little red balloon touches the sky that loved you

In the middle of infinity, the spirit’s glow willingly comes thru

In the realm of this vicinity, its appearance isn’t always what it’s up to.

Words, Art, Balance, Flow, placement, and timing bring the magic.

Would you have really lived any different once u knew I was telepathic?

Potential Squandered is the eulogy of the man who’s foolishly tragic

But really when you add it, we is all a useless addict, woozy and famished

Sorry, I Just had to fix me a sandwich, Irony on Rye with cheese

You can’t blame the dog if flops in the dirt and gets fleas

You can blame the frog who stays in the pot as its temp gets raised in degrees

I can only blame myself because I am selfish at my root, u like these leaves?

You can’t fathom how difficult it is to not exceed your speeds, so I turn off time

Shout out to my pet turtles when I was 5, ping and pong, shell shocking the rhyme

“who turned out the lights?” like the sewer gives a clue to your parties’ line

I may be blessed, but this world is losing it, look around, things are hardly fine

The martyrs rise in the autumn skies amidst cries ringing out for justice

I know it is a lot to ask, but the dreams are keys, and you are gonna have to trust us

There aint no time to remind that the mind will always incline to what lust does

Or that a life that is sedentary will certainly start to rust cuz.

I’m high on a love buzz.
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Old 07-13-2018, 01:22 PM   #2
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Good verse. Now post your 1-2 bar.
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Old 07-13-2018, 01:26 PM   #3
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Good verse. Now post your 1-2 bar.
just sent it sir.
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Old 07-17-2018, 03:56 AM   #4
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Nice...really hate when you space your lines out like that though, & nah before you say I'm bein' some nit pickin' ass wipe, 'tis just me preference...Havin' said that lol, I think your verses (well some) would be suited to the paragraph format, but what would I know?

Also hate how you have this philosophical imagery that's worded so well...shit annoys me ;)

Good spit fam, stay in that upper echelon with it.
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Old 07-17-2018, 01:43 PM   #5
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i'll say this much: some mature cheddar on a slice of german rye bread is delicious.
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Old 07-17-2018, 02:45 PM   #6
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Nice...really hate when you space your lines out like that though, & nah before you say I'm bein' some nit pickin' ass wipe, 'tis just me preference...Havin' said that lol, I think your verses (well some) would be suited to the paragraph format, but what would I know?

Also hate how you have this philosophical imagery that's worded so well...shit annoys me ;)

Good spit fam, stay in that upper echelon with it.
Hey I really appreciate you and your time, thanks.
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Veritas has actually proven to be the meaning of life and also provided proof of God's existence
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Old 07-17-2018, 02:46 PM   #7
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i'll say this much: some mature cheddar on a slice of german rye bread is delicious.
This is fair.
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Veritas has actually proven to be the meaning of life and also provided proof of God's existence
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You're the smartest person here.
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Old 07-17-2018, 04:17 PM   #8
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sorry, i enjoyed the preamble -- it was actually quite poignant. i might arbitrarily say you wrote the verse in two halves (maybe) and to that end i enjoyed the latter half more: when you tried to rhyme less, your sentiments (which resonated - maybe because i am currently accruing sedentary stiffness through my own choice) were more palpable. some of the phrasings scattered throughout felt askew in the tilt of the piece as a whole, but maybe i need to revisit it to grasp their intended purpose, if any.

anyway, thanks for the read. you write somewhat atypically, which i tend to appreciate.
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Old 07-18-2018, 01:25 PM   #9
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Strange piece. Yet, strangely enough some of it resonated with me. Maybe because it kind of reminds me of how I've been writing most recently. It's intentionally playful and aloof, yet there are moments when you randomly zone in, get serious with the philosophy, but second you feel someone bite the bait, you release the line and go right back to being playful and cryptic. Cool angel. Dope technique, rhyming and wording. I highly enjoyed it.
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Old 07-19-2018, 07:26 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Eŋg View Post
sorry, i enjoyed the preamble -- it was actually quite poignant. i might arbitrarily say you wrote the verse in two halves (maybe) and to that end i enjoyed the latter half more: when you tried to rhyme less, your sentiments (which resonated - maybe because i am currently accruing sedentary stiffness through my own choice) were more palpable. some of the phrasings scattered throughout felt askew in the tilt of the piece as a whole, but maybe i need to revisit it to grasp their intended purpose, if any.

anyway, thanks for the read. you write somewhat atypically, which i tend to appreciate.
Hey thank you this was very good feedback and inspired me to write more.
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Veritas has actually proven to be the meaning of life and also provided proof of God's existence
Quote:
Originally Posted by Batty View Post
V has picard's mind, PS4 Kratos' beard and John Cena's neva say quits attitude
Quote:
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You're the smartest person here.
veritas is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 07-19-2018, 07:26 PM   #11
veritas
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Originally Posted by ACTIVATE SELF View Post
Strange piece. Yet, strangely enough some of it resonated with me. Maybe because it kind of reminds me of how I've been writing most recently. It's intentionally playful and aloof, yet there are moments when you randomly zone in, get serious with the philosophy, but second you feel someone bite the bait, you release the line and go right back to being playful and cryptic. Cool angel. Dope technique, rhyming and wording. I highly enjoyed it.
I think you get me kinda. I dig it. Thank you!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bags View Post
Veritas has actually proven to be the meaning of life and also provided proof of God's existence
Quote:
Originally Posted by Batty View Post
V has picard's mind, PS4 Kratos' beard and John Cena's neva say quits attitude
Quote:
Originally Posted by PancakeBrah View Post
You're the smartest person here.
veritas is online now   Reply With Quote
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