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Old 07-17-2018, 01:52 AM   #4
Exis
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Firstly, my comments mean nothin' lol...secondly, thank you for always droppin' critique on my pieces...I write for me & no one but me so yeah, Gracias.

I don't think I've ever read a verse like this with super shortened bars, normally hate when cats pen things different or paragraph like, but...you nailed it.


You don't want no action
static, trouble or smoke
Cos fuckin wit homes'll
get ya jugular choked
Bitch I'll butter ya toast
(Put blood on ya clothes)
My semi-auto
has a button control
Tripod and a scope
Wit bullets so long
They favor the bones
Of rhinoceros noses
Obnoxious to hoes
A monster composed
Of Dr. Moreau's
Most actrocidous clones
Esophagus gulps
Of phosphorous flows
Impostors behold
The Swastika's no
Neo-nazi sym·bol
It's a rocket ship, bro
Of Odin alone
When he circled the globe

^^Dope.

Stay doin' you my nigga.
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