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-   -   Mindfilled:(A Flow About Nothing) (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=128892)

ACTIVATE SELF 07-06-2018 07:01 AM

Mindfilled:(A Flow About Nothing)
 
You don't want no action
static, trouble or smoke
Cos fuckin wit homes'll
get ya jugular choked
Bitch I'll butter ya toast
(Put blood on ya clothes)
My semi-auto
has a button control
Tripod and a scope
Wit bullets so long
They favor the bones
Of rhinoceros noses
Obnoxious to hoes
A monster composed
Of Dr. Moreau's
Most actrocidous clones
Esophagus gulps
Of phosphorous flows
Impostors behold
The Swastika's no
Neo-nazi sym·bol
It's a rocket ship, bro
Of Odin alone
When he circled the globe
Back when the hole
In the ozone was closed
And Buddha was known
As a tutor in Rome
The Tudors exposed
As the Roses grew old
And the throne of the Pope
Was loaded wit gold
Madonna was stroked
By the holiest ghost
Or so it was told
to Joseph in hopes
The Chosen would know
A two parent home
Apparently, tho
Adultery is wrong
Unless you're a god
Who's inherently owed
The worship of those
Who share chromosomes
With fairytale gnomes
Embarrassing, yo.
It's scary, fa sho.
I'm rarely opposed
My arrogance grows
compare me to GOATs
My chariot rolls
Over various skulls
Who dared to impair me with dairy insults
Lacking toast at my table
Their chairs were unstable
They kept tell'n lies
Disguised as a fable
Unwise to fanagle
The laws I decree
Tho college is able
It's just a degree
A fraction of knowledge
That's not as complete
As the obital route
Of three sixty, "weeeeee"
Around and around
That ol' apple tree
That sprung on the Eve
The Atom was seeded
And gravity's law
Was absent but needed
Thus enter Sir Issac
The alchemist genius
Who believed in old magic
And practiced the secrets
Extracted from Egypt
The Elohim teachings
The Catholics deleted
I've mastered the treatment
Of mapping the kingdom
In fact I have seen it
- The Fountain of Youth -
A Mountain of Dew
Surrounded by troops
Who pee in its stream
And package the juice
That's green as the greed
Of the capitalist view
A catalyst to
A segway of thought
Ur brain and pet rock
And a lazy robot
Are all just as useless
As race in a box
That's total nonsense
Psychobabble wit frills
But they'll say I've got skills
If my phrasing appeals
To their favorite ideals
It's amazing
Unreal
What gets praised in this field
This basic sand lot
Where the bases are filled
With past their prime players
That are akin to eels
With no electrical shock
Just claim to be ill
Except when they drop
Their sloppy attempts
At tryna be hot
But balantly flop!
Which makes me say "Ha"
Like Juve and Wayne
I'll loosely explain
I'm Søren exploring
The Lutheran Plane
Existinal games
Champagne that rains
On nuclear flames
The fusion could take
A day to complete
No way to compete
With makeshift M.D.s
Who doctor their rhymes
And fake ass emcees
All baiting the sheep
Wit ABC schemes
Whom make em believe
They're amazingly deep
Yeah, maybe I'm sleep
Or awake in a dream
Where the gangsters are weak
And afraid of these geeks
Wit no rank in streets
But claim to be Meech
When you can't breach the screen
Now Screech is a G
A Maybelline baby
Of digital sorts
Whose original form
Is feeble and short
But people are people
Yes, even these dorks

Of course...

veritas 07-06-2018 01:51 PM

the first half of alternative knowledge was interesting. The second half was more swaggy, overall I enjoyed it. u kept a solid flow and scheme for the entirety...

and my favorite line was Now Screech is a G


tru that. Keep coming back sir.

ACTIVATE SELF 07-08-2018 12:14 PM

Thanks for the read and feed, V.

Respect.

Exis 07-17-2018 01:52 AM

Firstly, my comments mean nothin' lol...secondly, thank you for always droppin' critique on my pieces...I write for me & no one but me so yeah, Gracias.

I don't think I've ever read a verse like this with super shortened bars, normally hate when cats pen things different or paragraph like, but...you nailed it.


You don't want no action
static, trouble or smoke
Cos fuckin wit homes'll
get ya jugular choked
Bitch I'll butter ya toast
(Put blood on ya clothes)
My semi-auto
has a button control
Tripod and a scope
Wit bullets so long
They favor the bones
Of rhinoceros noses
Obnoxious to hoes
A monster composed
Of Dr. Moreau's
Most actrocidous clones
Esophagus gulps
Of phosphorous flows
Impostors behold
The Swastika's no
Neo-nazi sym·bol
It's a rocket ship, bro
Of Odin alone
When he circled the globe

^^Dope.

Stay doin' you my nigga.


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