Pretty sure I got roofied last night...

[uh-oh]

Originally Posted by Chill Phil

She's five. The old lady took Snapchat pictures of me over the course of four hours. She even added bitchy captions. But in the photos I didn't move from the position I was placed in.


But, she's awake now, and I showed her the screenshot of my bank statement. Proving that I was truthful about only having two drinks. She still wants to be mad, but she's softened a bit.

WORD. the kid'll be AIGHT too

only thing i remember from being 5 was throwing up in kindergarten and shitting in my underwear simultaneously.

i had the wherewithall to throw away my underwear in the bathroom and make an attempt at cleaning myself.

but they sniffed old shitty pants out. i think i got sent home?

who knows though.