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#5 |
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 783
Battle Record: 2-1
Champed - Art of Writing League
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I went back and re:read this again ... this time on a larger screen, which changed the entire format of the verse. That allowed me to see your lines in full. Thus, I was better able to pick up on your inner and compound couplets. This joint flowed a lot smoother than I initially thought. Some of the scheme could still be tweaked a bit. But in all sincerity, I definitely overlooked a hefty portion of your rhyming technique. My bad, NY. Correction made.
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