''Different Hues''

Slechtn · 09-09-2016, 11:58 AM

[QUOTE=slecht;564407]

I wanted some proper feed on this when possible.

''Different Hues''

She was red. I was blue.
We were different hues.
Different views.
The friction grew,
The addiction too,
Which we didn't know our limits too.

She was a Dark Red, afraid of her surroundings.
I was a Carolina Blue.
Full energy and always kept pounding.
The fiery latina attitude matched her shade of Flame.
While I was true blue - Honesty and Loyalty was my main game.

Sometimes she was a Lust red, and we felt the passion together
Especially when I showed her steel blue.
I felt stronger than ever.
I wanted to reveal my Royal Blue. Show her my definition of love.
Embracing her Maroon while reminding her she will be loved.

I always made sure to communicate, even when I was teal.
But she remained oxblood, her pride kept her from keeping it real.
A dark cloud in my sky blue front.
Her feelings were Crimson - all tide up.

Exis · 09-10-2016, 08:26 AM

For what it is, yeah can't lie thought it was cool...emotion was straight, would of liked a few more multies...like they there but isntvso to speak, flow nice just idk blame the alcohol :P I'll edit when I'm straighter lol.

Liked it though, stay upwards with it.

Eŋg · 09-15-2016, 11:29 PM

your concept cornered you into contrivance.

the premise was cool, though, and you had a couple of good lines there.

09-09-2016, 11:58 AM	#1
Slechtn Pay Homage Join Date: Sep 2016 Location: La Luna Posts: 254 Battle Record: 2-3 Rep Power: 0	''Different Hues'' [QUOTE=slecht;564407] I wanted some proper feed on this when possible. ''Different Hues'' She was red. I was blue. We were different hues. Different views. The friction grew, The addiction too, Which we didn't know our limits too. She was a Dark Red, afraid of her surroundings. I was a Carolina Blue. Full energy and always kept pounding. The fiery latina attitude matched her shade of Flame. While I was true blue - Honesty and Loyalty was my main game. Sometimes she was a Lust red, and we felt the passion together Especially when I showed her steel blue. I felt stronger than ever. I wanted to reveal my Royal Blue. Show her my definition of love. Embracing her Maroon while reminding her she will be loved. I always made sure to communicate, even when I was teal. But she remained oxblood, her pride kept her from keeping it real. A dark cloud in my sky blue front. Her feelings were Crimson - all tide up. __________________

09-10-2016, 08:26 AM	#2
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	For what it is, yeah can't lie thought it was cool...emotion was straight, would of liked a few more multies...like they there but isntvso to speak, flow nice just idk blame the alcohol :P I'll edit when I'm straighter lol. Liked it though, stay upwards with it.

09-15-2016, 11:29 PM	#3
Eŋg rhyme capsule. Join Date: Sep 2018 Posts: 2,150 Rep Power: 0	your concept cornered you into contrivance. the premise was cool, though, and you had a couple of good lines there.