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Old 04-01-2016, 01:09 AM   #19
Eviscerate
stokely carmichael of rap
 
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Another day of complete failure, some speech’s alien:
nothing I can bleed from my tongue seems salient.
Asleep - sapient with a keen razor wit,
I barely even dream lately it’s a fiend trading hits
in the mirror, where I notice my build’s thinner. Twist slivers
of sensimilla between the rizla before I skip dinner

^exellent intro. instantly caught my attention. very technical, yet came across effortless. Can't remember the last time i heard "rizla" used anywhere.

and sit, bitter, with the sweet taste of irony, fire and green.
Temper thoughts till grey matter sheets change to iron, ire and steel
I can feel, or just wield
with zeal; and hope my scion recognizes its seal.
I’m tired. Tired of even trying to find what’s real

^dope...

rather be forgotten than relegated to merely ‘quotable’.

^felt..

I chose to kill cherished moments in view of the camera
in hopes it would undo all my illusions of candor.
I know the deal: delusions of grandeur
ensure my stupor and malady usually hang a..

^that was a fire run right there. rhymes, flow, well writ.
I appreciate how you switched [grandeur] with candor, and then in the very next line came back with grandeur. It shows that u make effort to not be preditable. I thought that was slick.


dope piece.
respect
__________________
i used to do that here..

Last edited by Eviscerate; 04-01-2016 at 01:12 AM.
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