The City of Drugs

Mr. J · 03-10-2016, 03:06 PM

I really enjoyed the start of this verse & the eventual build up to the picture reference
your word choice fits well into the following lines that you choose
I felt towards the end you started to lose focus though. otherwise this was pretty cool
the middle section was the strongest point of the piece for me & made me say awww
but towards the end with the weed & roll it felt like you tried to stick to the subject too much
after methamphetamine urge I was like yea this is nice...it just felt redundant to go back to the list of things again...

nice work though...keep writing

03-10-2016, 03:06 PM	#2
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	I really enjoyed the start of this verse & the eventual build up to the picture reference your word choice fits well into the following lines that you choose I felt towards the end you started to lose focus though. otherwise this was pretty cool the middle section was the strongest point of the piece for me & made me say awww but towards the end with the weed & roll it felt like you tried to stick to the subject too much after methamphetamine urge I was like yea this is nice...it just felt redundant to go back to the list of things again... nice work though...keep writing __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you