![]() |
![]() |
#1 |
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 1,633
Battle Record: 3-5
Champed - Haiku Writers Challenge
Rep Power: 85899377 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]() AOWL Season V, Week 1 Good luck @Witty and @Dancake
SUMMARY OF RULES: Verses are due Sunday, July 19th, 11:59p.m. PCT Monday, July 20th 2:59a.m. EST Monday, July 20th 7:59a.m UK There are NO extensions. Verses MUST be a minimum 10 lines or a maximum of 48 lines (or 650 words). Votes are due Wednesday, July 22nd, 11:00p.m. PCT/8p.m. EST/4a.m. UK. Failure to vote will result in automatic sign out for the next week. Read the full rules here! TOPIC: ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#2 |
Lime Life
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,813
Battle Record: 30-41
Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded
Champed - Lyric Olympics
- Summer Classic
Rep Power: 82986458 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
I love you.
__________________
He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime. ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#3 |
SOBER
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 13,052
Battle Record: 2-5
Champed - AOWL Season 2
Rep Power: 85899406 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
And I you
__________________
If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me? |
![]() |
![]() |
#4 |
Lime Life
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,813
Battle Record: 30-41
Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded
Champed - Lyric Olympics
- Summer Classic
Rep Power: 82986458 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
__________________
He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime. ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#5 |
SOBER
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 13,052
Battle Record: 2-5
Champed - AOWL Season 2
Rep Power: 85899406 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
I'm going to try. I just realized this was up.
__________________
If I ventured in the slipstream Between the viaducts of your dreams Where immobil steel rims crack And the ditch in the back road stop Could you find me? |
![]() |
![]() |
#6 |
Lime Life
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 16,813
Battle Record: 30-41
Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded
Champed - Lyric Olympics
- Summer Classic
Rep Power: 82986458 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
I feel the touch, as my skin crawls; it's disgusting
The lusting stare throughout all of the thrusting Adjusting my seat, so my customer feels at ease And unzipping the jeans as I fall to my knees The patron of filth for all the night's sleaze I kiss and I lick, without meeting the eyes Feeling the rise of demons that eat me inside I don't do it cuz I like it, I do it for the rent I do it for the dollar and I do it for the cent No one's gonna save me, superman's a myth In a world full of villains, only lex luthor can exist My customer stares, lost in my tired eyes Complete lack of emotion the cost of expired cries A prisoner in plain view, frequent visitor of hell My cell invisible, the land of pity where i dwell Treat me like a doormat, wipe your dirty feet Tread upon my spirit, leave me cryin' on the street Show me I'm a dirty whore, treat me like it too Choke my undeserving throat, beat me black n blue Tell me that you hate me, make me gasp and weeze You can scrape and maim me, just pay me as u leave I'll cry as you drive away as grief makes me bezerk I'm just a male hooker, on the street waiting for work.
__________________
He listens to voices inside of his mind
Explicit and poisonous violent crime. ![]() |
![]() |
![]() |
#7 |
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2015
Posts: 183
Battle Record: 6-4
Rep Power: 553415 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
Perfect ending with the male references, breathed the picture more life, very unexpected. Loved the verse, I want to meat a girl like this and show her a good night, at least for me.
|
![]() |
![]() |
#8 |
death warmed over
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Downstairs illstreet dam
Posts: 2,564
Battle Record: 6-21
Rep Power: 0 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
![]()
Lol I was going to say this was dope til I realised it was about a male prostitute lol the mechanics were nice the flow was tight lol just thought u could have dealt with the topic in a different way lol can't understand why you chose to take the verse thst way but regardless it was written well and I look forward to seeing more from you. Good luck with the rest of ya shit in this league
__________________
https://soundcloud.com/user-876573949/ https://soundcloud.com/user-634430314/ |
![]() |
|
|