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Old 06-27-2015, 12:38 PM   #6
Sharp
HE / HIM / FRAC
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: PA
Posts: 11,592
Battle Record: 56-21

Accomplishments
- 50+ Wins

Champed
- The Ultimate Writer
- NBL Cypher
- 1-2 Punch League

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hate racism, I hate ya but none intended here kid
I'll be saying kkk.. as a quick response when i'm asked to read your shit
the problem with this idea is that it's so predictable what's coming when you say 'kkk' it makes the flip almost nonexistent. I like the idea but delivering it in a different way (maybe like 'k, k, k') would help a bit, but it's just hard to make that one less predictable
acting tough on the board, dissin my man don't feel right
bashing muff on the net only cus ya struggling to do that in real life
muff/pussy is done to death. If you used this against one of the guys actually fucking with muff a lot it could have the personal angle going for it but tight now it's just a generic to me
no friends, fo real ya a loner, mates ya only got a few
ya shadow boxing.. guess it'll take up any sport just to get away from you
I actually really dig the concept and delivery is good here. Mighta been done before but I haven't seen it
heard you did shows but they blow n nobody went
me I murder ink while like them your only worth watching for 50 cent
Cool idea but all I'm thinking here is that you missed the opportunity to tie in sho's tattoos to make it more personal
ya girls a slut pussy's fucked, bitch is damn right filthy
cus the bitch be handing out more bangs than des's pic vs jilti
forget the pic tbh. I get that sometimes this works well (like karaokes bar about wanderers comb) but generally I'm not a huge fan of taking concepts from another pic
queer fuck not showing, lucky last week,probably should duck
cus this'll be straight murda.. obviously not ya sexuality the way that you fucked knuck
kind of predictable but still alright, but the ending of the punchline took away from it for me. You can probably say 'obviously not your sexuality' a little more concise and the very end is a reminder he beat knuck. Maybe make it about a loss, like '...sexuality the way you let that prettyboy Orc fuck you' or something
Got 12 sorry for the late showing again[/QUOTE]


Like the concepts but I can tell you didn't have the time to work through them totally. Props for showing, liked the shadowbox line the best
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