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#4 |
Steel Cut
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 5,084
Battle Record: 19-10
Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x)
Champed - Fight Night LXXXIV
- Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 79005428 ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
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I dig it, nice little emotional diddy. Rhythm was on-point, slant rhymes worked, overall it was solid, if nothing spectacular. I may be a little cynical about pieces like these, because I tend to gravitate towards things that pique my curiosity, or appeal to my own experiences, and this was a little generic in those regards. It's good, just not unique or memorable, nah mean? To be fair, I get the feeling that this was more of a personal thing for you, not meant to be anything more than an expression of your feelings at a given moment, so take that critique with a grain of salt; not every verse stems from a grand ambition/is out to change the world. But yeah, I liked it, just would like to see something idiosyncratic to characterize it/make it uniquely yours. Always a pleasure.
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You should be water |
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