spineal gland

brokenhal0 · 11-08-2014, 06:31 AM

rap written written back the black ribbon
fact given god risen under stars of wax crimson
fire starter in the dark my sparks glisten
gibbons eyes tear when jungle bark starts sizzlin
suns close ascend to the front post we gun ho
my soul remember more clips then automatic gun shows
compose in composed states composed in a controlled plane
compost to grow veins in the swamp tho move stock
and hold change brains blocked they blow caine
cocaine the same rock that snows rains steam to gas
then glows strange ill express the plainer fact hidden in close range
love that controls pain humor from flaws that grow to own names
within the system animal nature i spear it to explain
im my own sane inner chains to devils chair clear picture
poker game lets place a bet important people lay in rest
its easy to slay the flesh i rather escape the chase of death
and just disappear when there aint no phases left swept away
the faceless deaf blind to the place it left left away
to reincarnate until a snake ate its neck loop lord
i spray a chypre from 1986 strong odors like musky sex
moon phases dictate if i lick blood from a bladed neck
vamp life until the lights went out in the campsite
pure darkness the stuff that makes moths fly past the lamplight
lamprey in the spinal chakra spineless shrines of plier doctors
the wire choppers and original crooks lower planes
land to closer sponsors my visions are cooked

dead man · 11-08-2014, 10:21 AM

Dope

Wise Wiggles · 11-08-2014, 11:09 AM

wicked rawness. always a pleasure.

dead man · 11-08-2014, 11:22 AM

a/s/l

Mr. J · 11-08-2014, 01:34 PM

"more clips than"

Pretty cool the beginning was kind of bumpy
you either are just grasping the english language
decided to drop a drunken verse or just don't care
either way as you progressed the verse really shined
it had a old fashioned feel to it too...so you may have done work before
I can't recall the name either way nice work

brokenhal0 · 11-09-2014, 04:59 PM

mr j i seriously have no idea how to punctuate my writing is on a 6th grade level im proud of it tho lol

Mr. J · 11-09-2014, 05:14 PM

I applaud your generosity on writing an above average verse though
a lot of people treat it like they're writing a song ugh

zygote · 11-09-2014, 09:16 PM

Excellent spacing of the multiple rhymes. Unique turn of phrase and interesting subject matter. The train of thought tangential content is a bit like word association at times. Very good effort.

11-08-2014, 06:31 AM	#1
brokenhal0 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 523 Battle Record: 12-12=4 Champed - AOWL Season IX Rep Power: 3891097	spineal gland rap written written back the black ribbon fact given god risen under stars of wax crimson fire starter in the dark my sparks glisten gibbons eyes tear when jungle bark starts sizzlin suns close ascend to the front post we gun ho my soul remember more clips then automatic gun shows compose in composed states composed in a controlled plane compost to grow veins in the swamp tho move stock and hold change brains blocked they blow caine cocaine the same rock that snows rains steam to gas then glows strange ill express the plainer fact hidden in close range love that controls pain humor from flaws that grow to own names within the system animal nature i spear it to explain im my own sane inner chains to devils chair clear picture poker game lets place a bet important people lay in rest its easy to slay the flesh i rather escape the chase of death and just disappear when there aint no phases left swept away the faceless deaf blind to the place it left left away to reincarnate until a snake ate its neck loop lord i spray a chypre from 1986 strong odors like musky sex moon phases dictate if i lick blood from a bladed neck vamp life until the lights went out in the campsite pure darkness the stuff that makes moths fly past the lamplight lamprey in the spinal chakra spineless shrines of plier doctors the wire choppers and original crooks lower planes land to closer sponsors my visions are cooked Last edited by brokenhal0; 12-07-2014 at 06:53 AM.

11-08-2014, 10:21 AM	#2
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	Dope __________________ Zack Wicks for president

11-08-2014, 11:09 AM	#3
Wise Wiggles nok Su kow Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,505 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 51788022	wicked rawness. always a pleasure. __________________ "black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch"

11-08-2014, 11:22 AM	#4
dead man living Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,485 Battle Record: 33-18 Accomplishments - Hall of Fame Champed - AOWL Season 1 - Art of Writing League - AOWL Season 4 - Write Week V - GWL Season 1 Rep Power: 77606679	a/s/l __________________ Zack Wicks for president

11-08-2014, 01:34 PM	#5
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	"more clips than" Pretty cool the beginning was kind of bumpy you either are just grasping the english language decided to drop a drunken verse or just don't care either way as you progressed the verse really shined it had a old fashioned feel to it too...so you may have done work before I can't recall the name either way nice work __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

11-09-2014, 04:59 PM	#6
brokenhal0 Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 523 Battle Record: 12-12=4 Champed - AOWL Season IX Rep Power: 3891097	mr j i seriously have no idea how to punctuate my writing is on a 6th grade level im proud of it tho lol

11-09-2014, 05:14 PM	#7
Mr. J The Clown Prince Join Date: Apr 2013 Posts: 5,046 Battle Record: 35-45 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 59349682	I applaud your generosity on writing an above average verse though a lot of people treat it like they're writing a song ugh __________________ .....laugh....and the world laughs with you

11-09-2014, 09:16 PM	#8
zygote Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 501 Battle Record: 33-12 Accomplishments - OM HOF (2x) Champed - Art of Writing League (3x) Rep Power: 737828	Excellent spacing of the multiple rhymes. Unique turn of phrase and interesting subject matter. The train of thought tangential content is a bit like word association at times. Very good effort.