No Strings Attached

Vulgar · 10-10-2014, 09:21 PM

Very solid writing, you two.

The legs were all chipped and started to creak,
the oppressor forced it, from arms to the feet
with less endurance, he didn't have the heart to achieve
as wet performances, washed up his scenes.

The novelty ceased in his cold wooden gaze
he wanted some freedom as all he’d known was the stage.
So he broke the constraints, and at last he was free,
but with no one holding the reigns - He collapsed in a heap.
^These parts were sick.

Overall, no real complaints about it. It was well rounded writing and I see that MMLP can keep up with Lars' rhyme schemes, which is impressive. It was a complete piece.

Keep doing you

10-10-2014, 09:21 PM	#6
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Very solid writing, you two. The legs were all chipped and started to creak, the oppressor forced it, from arms to the feet with less endurance, he didn't have the heart to achieve as wet performances, washed up his scenes. The novelty ceased in his cold wooden gaze he wanted some freedom as all he’d known was the stage. So he broke the constraints, and at last he was free, but with no one holding the reigns - He collapsed in a heap. ^These parts were sick. Overall, no real complaints about it. It was well rounded writing and I see that MMLP can keep up with Lars' rhyme schemes, which is impressive. It was a complete piece. Keep doing you