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09-13-2014, 10:08 PM
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#1 |
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Arm the Homeless
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,102
Battle Record: 22-24
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 35079722   |
Vampires & Bloodsuckers
I love how you love me.
Your tenderness, so touching. Kiss your lips. So, lovely. Isn't it funny how one minute we're nothing? Maybe it's just me. We locked eyes, and broke the key. There's this fire inside. I'm not surprised. I've never been known to get cold feet. So special, this blonde's a tease. Drop rose petals to spread 'em on the sheets. You're my American beauty. |
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09-14-2014, 02:10 AM
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#2 | |
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obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,709
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599682  |
Cool. I actually like drops like these more. People say poets don't get out what they're trying to say but you really dropped an anchor here. There was loose connections based from the original context you were in. From asking the minute we're nothing question to the next few lines. The locked eyes was a great example of wording. The loose interpretations from fire/cold cleaned up a large portion of this little haiku. This actually has good length and from its brevity still landed an emotional dose. I see you've been improving.
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