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-   -   Vampires & Bloodsuckers (http://netcees.org/showthread.php?t=94435)

Zen 09-13-2014 10:08 PM

Vampires & Bloodsuckers
 
I love how you love me.
Your tenderness, so touching.
Kiss your lips.
So, lovely.
Isn't it funny
how one minute we're nothing?
Maybe it's just me.
We locked eyes,
and broke the key.
There's this fire inside.
I'm not surprised.
I've never been known to get cold feet.
So special,
this blonde's a tease.
Drop rose petals
to spread 'em on the sheets.
You're my American beauty.

big baby 09-14-2014 02:10 AM

Cool. I actually like drops like these more. People say poets don't get out what they're trying to say but you really dropped an anchor here. There was loose connections based from the original context you were in. From asking the minute we're nothing question to the next few lines. The locked eyes was a great example of wording. The loose interpretations from fire/cold cleaned up a large portion of this little haiku. This actually has good length and from its brevity still landed an emotional dose. I see you've been improving.


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