Vividlyvague vs. Kin - Kin wins

Notebook · 08-26-2014, 05:45 PM

Kin, your bar at first glance is very simple & straight-forward, but you anchored in some pretty creative wordplay. At first, I was opposed to whole "gangster-appeal" that you kicked for your setup, but the punch created a connected & enjoyable effect. Very well-executed.
Vivid, I've seen a LOT of Brokeback Mountain lines...so that kind of took a lot away for me. However, you did a decent job of flipping it in a new way. Still, I think that if you simplified the punch and made it less wordy, it would've hit harder. Felt it to be a bit forced...

Vote: Kin.

08-26-2014, 05:45 PM	#12
Notebook fanlink.to/Notebook Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Hell. Posts: 49 Battle Record: 1-1 Rep Power: 0	Kin, your bar at first glance is very simple & straight-forward, but you anchored in some pretty creative wordplay. At first, I was opposed to whole "gangster-appeal" that you kicked for your setup, but the punch created a connected & enjoyable effect. Very well-executed. Vivid, I've seen a LOT of Brokeback Mountain lines...so that kind of took a lot away for me. However, you did a decent job of flipping it in a new way. Still, I think that if you simplified the punch and made it less wordy, it would've hit harder. Felt it to be a bit forced... Vote: Kin.