neighbor: you never told me you were a registered sex offender! i HAVE KIDS! me: omfg im so sorry i forgot to register again i never renewed lmao woops! neighbor: im calling the police! me: but im not registered

[Certain]

This was way downbeat from what I'm used to reading by you, more like something Zombie or Void might write. There was a bit of Netcees parody in that sad tone, but that doesn't make it any less genuine-feeling. There were some things that didn't work for me, like the humps line and occasional wording slips. This was my favorite part:

IF!! emotions were sentient beings, the intent would be freeing
would see me as an infectious deceiving son of a gun
tried to make someones day better, do i get points if its null?
pretending my hands a gun when i point to my skull?????
smoking cigarettes is out of the question, but i dream that I do
crushing a camel under my steel toe, drinking coffee with cream in light of the hue