Week 13: 9. Vividlyvague (6-5) vs. 10. timeless (6-6) \\ Vividlyvague wins 5-0

Vulgar · 05-25-2014, 11:17 AM

Timeless - I thought this was cool/decent. The concept was nice and it was a different way of interpreting the topic. The rhyming was okay, the wording was concise. What might've hurt you as a whole was the way you tried to form metaphors, I.e the ladder line didn't match up well.

Vividlyvague - firstly, I enjoyed the twist and didn't see it coming. You cloaked this newly female entity well. The construction and dialogue of the story was also originally done. The fact that his father started crying seemed a bit uncharacteristic of him, but it was appropriate given the karma he was scheduled to experience. Nice verse.

My vote goes to VV.

05-25-2014, 11:17 AM	#8
Vulgar Razor-thin derision Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,422 Battle Record: 40-25 Accomplishments - OM HOF Champed - Fight Night LIV - Gimmick Battle League (2x) - Write Week II - Art of Writing League - Storytelling And Topical Invitational Tournament - STI - Haiku Writer Challenge - GWL Picture Challenge(2x) Rep Power: 49604320	Timeless - I thought this was cool/decent. The concept was nice and it was a different way of interpreting the topic. The rhyming was okay, the wording was concise. What might've hurt you as a whole was the way you tried to form metaphors, I.e the ladder line didn't match up well. Vividlyvague - firstly, I enjoyed the twist and didn't see it coming. You cloaked this newly female entity well. The construction and dialogue of the story was also originally done. The fact that his father started crying seemed a bit uncharacteristic of him, but it was appropriate given the karma he was scheduled to experience. Nice verse. My vote goes to VV.