.:: By hating you I hate myself ::.

Objective · 05-23-2014, 03:24 PM

I've been roasted for eons, dreams descended in ash,
haunted by nature's parasites along with its predictable crash.
Humans; evolution's most intelligent trash festered in cash,
contested by rash decisions as destructive visions amassed.
I see tension build as parents whimper ''he's growing too fast...'',
not knowing the source comes from the force of ''how long will I last?''
And the equation of existence is confronted by scholars with math,
we fail to see that the answer to our lives is just a part of its path.
All while a butterfly escapes from this wrath with passion inside,
science made up a language to explain the passion that died.
If adding numbers to predict when asteroids hit isn't foreseeing the future,
then the wounds of humanity doesn't understand the nature of suture.
I bet that it suits you, and I'd lie if I didn't agree,
it's just that I hate to see so much of you within me.

Mitch · 05-23-2014, 05:30 PM

humans didnt evolve, we were created by aliens to showcase their mastery of divine numerology. anyway cool piece, deep piece. Only thing that seems out of place is "I bet that it suits you, and I'd lie if I didn't agree," because you are agreeing with yourself? Doesn't make much sense. But other than that hiccup it was clean

Zen · 05-23-2014, 05:53 PM

The first few lines of this were brilliant imo. They were worded perfectly and had a smooth flow to it. Then once you got to the math/path bar the lines were too stretched for my taste. Mitch had a good point too about that lie line. Seemed a little awkward in the wording. I dig this though.

veritas · 05-23-2014, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mitch

humans didnt evolve, we were created by aliens to showcase their mastery of divine numerology. anyway cool piece, deep piece. Only thing that seems out of place is "I bet that it suits you, and I'd lie if I didn't agree," because you are agreeing with yourself? Doesn't make much sense. But other than that hiccup it was clean

veritas · 05-23-2014, 07:27 PM

Who created the aliens?

Mitch · 05-23-2014, 08:12 PM

the aliens probably evolved, if not created by other more advanced aliens, idk

DexLabb · 05-24-2014, 10:04 AM

does free will exist mitch?

DexLabb · 05-24-2014, 11:06 AM

does quantum entaglement mean jesus is real?

Witty · 05-24-2014, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DexLabb

does quantum entaglement mean jesus is real?

Stop this.

No more doing this in people threads.

DexLabb · 05-24-2014, 12:00 PM

okay mom ill be good

DexLabb · 05-24-2014, 01:36 PM

jk i dont really give a fuck

Witty · 05-24-2014, 03:38 PM

It was not a request.

05-23-2014, 03:24 PM	#1
Objective ( ͡º ͜ʖ ͡º) Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,868 Battle Record: 17-32 Rep Power: 52474192	.:: By hating you I hate myself ::. I've been roasted for eons, dreams descended in ash, haunted by nature's parasites along with its predictable crash. Humans; evolution's most intelligent trash festered in cash, contested by rash decisions as destructive visions amassed. I see tension build as parents whimper ''he's growing too fast...'', not knowing the source comes from the force of ''how long will I last?'' And the equation of existence is confronted by scholars with math, we fail to see that the answer to our lives is just a part of its path. All while a butterfly escapes from this wrath with passion inside, science made up a language to explain the passion that died. If adding numbers to predict when asteroids hit isn't foreseeing the future, then the wounds of humanity doesn't understand the nature of suture. I bet that it suits you, and I'd lie if I didn't agree, it's just that I hate to see so much of you within me. __________________ I'm not a slave for entertainment, I'm entertainments personal slave, So deep into writing I'm concerned bout the text on my grave. www.youtube.com/watch?v=gV8ozGcGJ6o

05-23-2014, 05:30 PM	#2
Mitch Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 160 Rep Power: 2208351	humans didnt evolve, we were created by aliens to showcase their mastery of divine numerology. anyway cool piece, deep piece. Only thing that seems out of place is "I bet that it suits you, and I'd lie if I didn't agree," because you are agreeing with yourself? Doesn't make much sense. But other than that hiccup it was clean __________________ Soundcloud.com/TheDirtySerpent

05-23-2014, 08:12 PM	#6
Mitch Senior Member Join Date: Aug 2013 Location: Canada Posts: 160 Rep Power: 2208351	the aliens probably evolved, if not created by other more advanced aliens, idk __________________ Soundcloud.com/TheDirtySerpent

05-24-2014, 10:04 AM	#7
DexLabb song genius Join Date: Sep 2013 Posts: 377 Rep Power: 0	does free will exist mitch? __________________ ZOOM IN ON THAT ASS LIKE BINOCULARS

05-24-2014, 11:06 AM	#8
DexLabb song genius Join Date: Sep 2013 Posts: 377 Rep Power: 0	does quantum entaglement mean jesus is real? __________________ ZOOM IN ON THAT ASS LIKE BINOCULARS

05-23-2014, 05:53 PM	#3
Zen Arm the Homeless Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 4,102 Battle Record: 22-24 Champed - Art of Writing League Rep Power: 35079722	The first few lines of this were brilliant imo. They were worded perfectly and had a smooth flow to it. Then once you got to the math/path bar the lines were too stretched for my taste. Mitch had a good point too about that lie line. Seemed a little awkward in the wording. I dig this though.

05-24-2014, 12:00 PM	#10
DexLabb song genius Join Date: Sep 2013 Posts: 377 Rep Power: 0	okay mom ill be good __________________ ZOOM IN ON THAT ASS LIKE BINOCULARS

05-24-2014, 01:36 PM	#11
DexLabb song genius Join Date: Sep 2013 Posts: 377 Rep Power: 0	jk i dont really give a fuck __________________ ZOOM IN ON THAT ASS LIKE BINOCULARS

05-24-2014, 03:38 PM	#12
Witty Lime Life Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 16,978 Battle Record: 30-41 Accomplishments - Only Slightly Retarded Champed - Lyric Olympics - Summer Classic Rep Power: 85235118	It was not a request. __________________ He listens to voices inside of his mind Explicit and poisonous violent crime.