AOWL Week 5: Mike Wrecka (AOWL #1 CONTENDER) (3-1) VS. Adonis (1-0) - ADONIS WINS 8-3

patrown · 03-18-2013, 11:56 PM

mike wrecka - i got a laugh from "love you honny.. be home in a bit"
humans=virus, undertones of that throughout the entire piece.. like here..
reaction to a caption I viewed? saying stay where you are,
with these monsters on the road my car wouldn't get very far/
. . . industrialization impedes human progression? amirite?
also the humorous tone evident in "..right through/her hand.." worked with the flow well. overall a clean piece, avoided being too gory except for the spaghetti intestine part.. so not relying on shock was a +1.
"as my neighbors shuffle over and treat me like food" -lol

adonis - you are quite good at being twisted.
My physical's tarnished, my emotions are baggage,
I try to take flight, but I'm a victim of habit,
^ flowed well here.. in the style of the entire piece.kinda punchy-i'm assuming to complement the shock value of the story itself. it was poetic and made me cringe while saying, "hey adonis is pretty good.". so, good job accomplishing that goal. you showed off your skill as a writer by fully exploring the story. i think just a liittle bit more as far as mechanics goes, i would've had no choice but to give you the /v.
absolutely gruesome wordplay and a close battle.
God if you exist, please take my life...
I pray to die” . - Ironic because, I'm the prey tonight.

/v mike wrecka

03-18-2013, 11:56 PM	#16
patrown ‹^›ô¿ô‹^› Join Date: Feb 2013 Posts: 596 Battle Record: 13-19 Rep Power: 0	mike wrecka - i got a laugh from "love you honny.. be home in a bit" humans=virus, undertones of that throughout the entire piece.. like here.. reaction to a caption I viewed? saying stay where you are, with these monsters on the road my car wouldn't get very far/ . . . industrialization impedes human progression? amirite? also the humorous tone evident in "..right through/her hand.." worked with the flow well. overall a clean piece, avoided being too gory except for the spaghetti intestine part.. so not relying on shock was a +1. "as my neighbors shuffle over and treat me like food" -lol adonis - you are quite good at being twisted. My physical's tarnished, my emotions are baggage, I try to take flight, but I'm a victim of habit, ^ flowed well here.. in the style of the entire piece.kinda punchy-i'm assuming to complement the shock value of the story itself. it was poetic and made me cringe while saying, "hey adonis is pretty good.". so, good job accomplishing that goal. you showed off your skill as a writer by fully exploring the story. i think just a liittle bit more as far as mechanics goes, i would've had no choice but to give you the /v. absolutely gruesome wordplay and a close battle. God if you exist, please take my life... I pray to die” . - Ironic because, I'm the prey tonight. /v mike wrecka