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03-07-2014, 11:24 PM
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#8 |
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V.V
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20
Rep Power: 6247259   |
I liked some parts of this piece. I think adding some of his personality in the mix would have made him sound less stereotypical, not to say bikers are not actually like this.
The story switched kind wierdly toward that last part about the car crash imo. Overall, for such a short drop, you managed to fit more than enough in to where one wouldn't necessarily need to ask questions. Good job and keep droppin.
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Ahem. |
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