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12-13-2013, 01:39 AM
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#4 |
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Mad fucking dangerous.
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,066
Battle Record: 40-19
Champed - AOWL Season 3
- Art of Writing League (2x)
Rep Power: 85899406   |
"Worth" and "tough" were rhyme stumbles that cut into the general reading flow as well as rap cadence. From "a deafening sound" to "dome," the diction was awkward. "My old town seems to be closer to home" was a great single line.
I like when you write more naturally.
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws. |
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