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10-08-2013, 10:35 PM
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#1 |
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_Al_GO_RYTHMIC
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 644
Battle Record: 1-3
Rep Power: 0   |
Battle Scars
Battle Scars like a lasting art...
some skin deep, while others last in heart some wars end, while others start some love begins, while others abort new life springs summer, and falls apart while winter hits, like a contact sport you begin to wonder, how you came this far but still reminisce, the times when you came up short some days you have patients, and other days you can't take no more we're all in the healing process, because life is war
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http://www.youtube.com/user/toadill Ⓖⓔⓣ ⓘⓝ ⓣⓗⓔ ⓑⓞⓦⓛ I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT ╔══════╦═╗╔═╦═══╦═╦═══╗ ║░╔╗╔╗░║░║║░║╚══╣░║░╔═╝ ║░║╚╝║░║░╚╝░╠══╗║░║░╚═╗ ╚═╝░░╚═╩════╩═══╩═╩═══╝ ¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪ ◕MUSIC◕LOVE◕LIVE◕LAUGH◕ ☯█▄█ █ █▀█ █▄█ █▀█ █▀█ ♬ ♬█▀█ █ █▀▀ █▀█ █▄█ █▀▀ ☯ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤♡ |
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10-09-2013, 06:56 PM
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#2 |
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The Clown Prince
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 5,028
Battle Record: 35-45
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 59349678   |
Cool little poetic piece. not my cup of tea
but I see what you were expressing pretty good for what it was though write longer.....keep it up
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.....laugh....and the world laughs with you |
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10-09-2013, 08:45 PM
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#3 | |
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Ad mini tator
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 10,005
Battle Record: 26-54
Champed - Lime Green Poetry Association
- Black August
- 1-2 Punch League
Rep Power: 85899400 |
word...this is my comfort zone right here...I need to start writing poetry again...
ths was fucking cool man...loved the poetic vibe this had..simple yet it was riddled with so much depth and imagery. man this was cool Quote:
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10-11-2013, 01:35 PM
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#4 |
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_Al_GO_RYTHMIC
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 644
Battle Record: 1-3
Rep Power: 0 |
Thanks for the feed!
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http://www.youtube.com/user/toadill Ⓖⓔⓣ ⓘⓝ ⓣⓗⓔ ⓑⓞⓦⓛ I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT ╔══════╦═╗╔═╦═══╦═╦═══╗ ║░╔╗╔╗░║░║║░║╚══╣░║░╔═╝ ║░║╚╝║░║░╚╝░╠══╗║░║░╚═╗ ╚═╝░░╚═╩════╩═══╩═╩═══╝ ¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪ ◕MUSIC◕LOVE◕LIVE◕LAUGH◕ ☯█▄█ █ █▀█ █▄█ █▀█ █▀█ ♬ ♬█▀█ █ █▀▀ █▀█ █▄█ █▀▀ ☯ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤♡ |
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10-11-2013, 03:19 PM
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#5 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 544
Battle Record: 5-7
Rep Power: 8664751 |
patience*
simple piece, expand more and go out of your comfort zone. ramble with a flow, write with a sense. it'll do wonderful things for your work. |
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10-11-2013, 08:28 PM
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#6 | |
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loose leaf bruce lee
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 1,079
Battle Record: 7-6
Rep Power: 1853213 |
Quote:
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10-14-2013, 11:50 AM
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#7 |
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_Al_GO_RYTHMIC
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 644
Battle Record: 1-3
Rep Power: 0 |
Thanks for the feed!
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http://www.youtube.com/user/toadill Ⓖⓔⓣ ⓘⓝ ⓣⓗⓔ ⓑⓞⓦⓛ I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT ╔══════╦═╗╔═╦═══╦═╦═══╗ ║░╔╗╔╗░║░║║░║╚══╣░║░╔═╝ ║░║╚╝║░║░╚╝░╠══╗║░║░╚═╗ ╚═╝░░╚═╩════╩═══╩═╩═══╝ ¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪ ◕MUSIC◕LOVE◕LIVE◕LAUGH◕ ☯█▄█ █ █▀█ █▄█ █▀█ █▀█ ♬ ♬█▀█ █ █▀▀ █▀█ █▄█ █▀▀ ☯ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤♡ |
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10-15-2013, 01:38 AM
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#8 |
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V.V
Join Date: Sep 2013
Location: .
Posts: 2,076
Battle Record: 31-20
Rep Power: 6247256 |
quaint, concise, and very meaningful. definitely a piece that speaks to this place. Cool.
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Ahem. |
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11-07-2013, 03:12 AM
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#9 |
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_Al_GO_RYTHMIC
Join Date: May 2013
Posts: 644
Battle Record: 1-3
Rep Power: 0 |
Thanks
´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶…….. ´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´¶¶…… ´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶………. ´´´´´¶´´´´´¶´´´´¶¶´´´´´¶¶´´´´¶¶´´´´´¶¶………….. ´´´´´¶´´´´´¶´´´¶¶´´´´´´¶¶´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´¶¶….. ´´´´´¶´´´´¶´´¶¶´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´¶¶….. ´´´´´´¶´´´¶´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶…. ´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶…. ´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´´¶¶…. ´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´´¶¶…. ´¶¶´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´¶¶… ´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´¶¶…. ´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶….. ´´¶´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶…. ´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´¶´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶…. ´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶´´´´´¶¶´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶….. ´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´´¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶¶…….
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http://www.youtube.com/user/toadill Ⓖⓔⓣ ⓘⓝ ⓣⓗⓔ ⓑⓞⓦⓛ I CAN’T LIVE WITHOUT ╔══════╦═╗╔═╦═══╦═╦═══╗ ║░╔╗╔╗░║░║║░║╚══╣░║░╔═╝ ║░║╚╝║░║░╚╝░╠══╗║░║░╚═╗ ╚═╝░░╚═╩════╩═══╩═╩═══╝ ¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪¸.•*¨*•♫♪ ◕MUSIC◕LOVE◕LIVE◕LAUGH◕ ☯█▄█ █ █▀█ █▄█ █▀█ █▀█ ♬ ♬█▀█ █ █▀▀ █▀█ █▄█ █▀▀ ☯ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤ ♡ ❤♡ |
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11-07-2013, 08:20 AM
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#10 | |
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nok Su kow
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,507
Battle Record: 1-1
Rep Power: 51788019 |
Quote:
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"black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" |
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11-07-2013, 11:16 AM
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#11 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 1,170
Battle Record: 21-15
Rep Power: 0 |
not really much here to critique .... the concept of it was kind of non existent to me, the title and the lyrics didnt match up to me @ all .. & this is really shit short to even create anything in it ...
4/10 |
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11-07-2013, 07:39 PM
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#12 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: I live in Florida
Posts: 4,707
Battle Record: 3-8
Rep Power: 55521416   |
nothing much to say love, cool piece.
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