Your Ex Wants To Remain FWB....

[Certain]

Originally Posted by Decibel

Would you say yes or no?

Yea, I was/currently in this situation.

I had this deal for a while with an ex who was somewhat still in love with me even though I had never really been in love with her (which I told her when I broke up with her because I'm a shitty person).

Anyway, here's what happened: We had a lot of sex, more than we did when we were dating. I'm talking every time we saw each other, which was frequently because we lived close by and had many mutual friends. We did it in a friend's bathroom at a party just because. And the sex was better, both because we were so comfortable with each other's bodies after all that experience and because there were no fuzzy emotions. She was in love with me to a degree, but she understood what we were there for, and that love probably was more physical than anything.

So that sounds great, right?

Well, here's what happened: Neither of us moved on while this arrangement was going on. Then I got a job and moved halfway across the country. Within four months, she was dating the guy she's probably going to marry. He's terrific and so much better for her than I ever was. I'm thrilled for them. And I got better ass myself, albeit less frequently. I still haven't found real love (probably because I'm a shitty person), but I've definitely been closer with girls I met after we stopped fucking than I ever was with her.

My feeling is that the friends-with-benefits scenario harbors apathy toward finding something real and better. But having sex regularly is pretty great.