pabloescoborrow

[Certain]

The spelling mistakes were distracting. There are a few interesting thoughts here, though. There was a little bit of Ghostface Killah in this couplet:

straight slum hit em with the peroxide the narcs eatin fried chicken on a parkslide
in the dark crys from the hawk glide the sky where ether resides

Clean up the spelling and puncation. Don't break up your couplets because it distracts from continued rhyme patterns. Try to stick to a single voice a little more in a single verse.