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05-23-2014, 05:53 PM
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#4 |
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Arm the Homeless
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,102
Battle Record: 22-24
Champed - Art of Writing League
Rep Power: 35079722   |
The first few lines of this were brilliant imo. They were worded perfectly and had a smooth flow to it. Then once you got to the math/path bar the lines were too stretched for my taste. Mitch had a good point too about that lie line. Seemed a little awkward in the wording. I dig this though.
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