psychobabble

[Otto Peighlaught]

I would have separated this into two. The writing feels very different from the first rhyme scheme to the what I consider the second half. The beginning had a mature attitude about it. The writing in the opening rhyme scheme was imagery driven and allowed me to interpret it through my imagination. The scheme began to tire out a little earlier than you stopped using it, but was never un-enjoyable. The second half, as I refer to it, started out with a lot of sloppy rhyming in respect to the first half. Also the writers voice changed from leading with imagery to leading with emotion. It was almost as if it was written at a completely different time. The concept between the two halves was well constructed. It was as if you started with a broad picture and spiraled it down to a fine point, with which you painted yourself. A little soap box, a little personal, and most of all enjoyable. Cheers