psychobabble
 

It's deflating -

getting gully, having to topple your ruse
made you swallow your words
now it's hard to swallow this food...
a jedi grey, the force showing me models of truth
which melt away, snakelike in foggy slaloming grooves
influence grows, and freedom expands - this bottle of booze
poisoned elixir showing all the roads to possibly choose
wise solomon counting wives and steady pocketing dues
You're jarring like funhouse mirrors in ***kling moods -
the gulf between your feigned values and the actual proof
which you show in your life are stunning. Had to stop and peruse
Bodhisattva incarnate - back again to battle as youths
we've met before as kindred spirits who were craftily duped
made to forget. Made stronger with every passionate loop
and wiser through myriad lessons I've had to redo
RETROACTIVE PRECOGNITION - the psychobabble ensues
mostly it's bullshit. Some of the times I prattle the truth
stepped outside of space/time. The truths I've had to embrace
mortal steps taken with faith will alter matter and space
This one truth has many layers - it's a matter of taste
to leave this life of trials depressed or floating battered in grace
playing these jungles of space+time - sick of your horrible tries
at knowing what lies beyond like you've already died
maybe it's nothing. Maybe it's like a fucking ocean of love
your existential crises appear as an unfortunate crutch
I've got experiences...art, gorgeous women and fortunes to fuck
maybe end it cliffside over the gorge as a monk
only after I'm 60 though. Dawg, I'm gorgeous as fuck
that L'oreal cream. Got me creaming teens; I'm 40 and up
feminine light shining in MILFS and the horniest pups
it's just nature. I wouldn't act on it but HOLIEST FUCK
that 17 y/o's looking like a fly version of Halle storm in the cut
the younger me would hate on me now. I'm skimming pintrest
recipes got me hard - shaking like children from Hasidic incest
It turns out you're a dilettante. I'm feeling clever+zen
I'll never acquiesce to bureaucracy ever again.
On that yellow brick road until another obstacle comes
I'll stand up and get clocked in the jaw or shot in the lung
one thing's for sure - I won't give a single audible fuck
you might kill me. but not before I throw a cross at your nuts
these dreams got me rollin, toward legacy as I cross the divide
so pierce the veil as a jester -
show me your passion and pride.



.

I would have separated this into two. The writing feels very different from the first rhyme scheme to the what I consider the second half. The beginning had a mature attitude about it. The writing in the opening rhyme scheme was imagery driven and allowed me to interpret it through my imagination. The scheme began to tire out a little earlier than you stopped using it, but was never un-enjoyable. The second half, as I refer to it, started out with a lot of sloppy rhyming in respect to the first half. Also the writers voice changed from leading with imagery to leading with emotion. It was almost as if it was written at a completely different time. The concept between the two halves was well constructed. It was as if you started with a broad picture and spiraled it down to a fine point, with which you painted yourself. A little soap box, a little personal, and most of all enjoyable. Cheers

word keystyle, it's lightwork. I'll feed ur piece back. why wrack my mind for approval from people I don't respect or care about. I would take black and vulgar's feedback into consideration, on something that I put more effort into, only two humble people here and they write better. The rest of you aren't even hungry. Living lives mediocre. Wasting your youth working for companies. Living for netcees approval even. Very sad.

i fully intend to read this and give it the reflection it deserves. tonight may not be the night, but you have my word.

I am glad to see that I inspired you to sound like such a dreadful fool.


Cool.

I knew this would happen btw.

Inspired O u mean the 15 seconds that I thought about your attention seeking thread and randomly incorporated it into this key?

lulz@you



you tried to walk on the water while holding an open umbrella,

You’re fake fella, selling wolf tickets: Jacob to Bella.

So as sure as Helen Keller was raised from the cellar,

This pussy gets spade as dues paid to his elder

let this alka-seltzer’s taste settle the case

a chained mind with eye’s blind will never finish the race…..because:



You speak pseudo-Spirituality mixed with materialistic ambition.

Contradiction: You claim to know how to be free, while begging for recognition.

Your claims are asinine, imbalanced as Silman’s methods on the chess board,

A knight on the rim is dim, control the center, and write in a manner less bored.

But good luck. You the big apple, big baller, big bullshit, big ego, big duplicitous,

If you truly knew the higher dimensions and path you would only speak of your insignificance.



Your writing…..lacks focus

You’re boarding….wack atrocious

Your wording…..blacks’ hypnosis

I’m flowing…..tea bagged a blowfish

You’re knowing…..toe tagged and ownage



In conclusion:

The leper community sought immunity from scrutiny in past times

Their proclivity for exclusivity was specifically the bad signs

Which society in its entirety made the irony of bath lines

Which provided the highlighted shortsighted wrath vibes

Until miraculous immaculate healings counteracted the wack scribes

dirty shoes is the only time that a spit shines in reenacted exact rhymes

sorry TLDR...you are a wannabe online thug, your 3 year old subpersonality who needs mommy's attention dominates any adult personality traits you've adopted, and you are one of the biggest losers here plus your wife's probably ugly as fuck. You're wasting your anger here.

remember when you praised my collab with dead man? Oh yeah...

You have a crush on me.

u r genius and godlike

No.

the gulf between your feigned values and the actual proof
which you show in your life are stunning. Had to stop and peruse
Bodhisattva incarnate - back again to battle as youths
we've met before as kindred spirits who were craftily duped
made to forget. Made stronger with every passionate loop
and wiser through myriad lessons I've had to redo

Far and away my favorite section. Smooth as all hell, cool ideas well executed.

The part where you got overly braggadocious did seem a bit out place. Had the whole scheme, tranquil thoughts spilling with soft rhymes and then it's a swag and flow piece for a few lines. My only complaint. As a whole this was dope. You do this style well. Thanks for the read.

mostly it's bullshit. Some of the times I prattle the truth
stepped outside of space/time. The truths I've had to embrace
mortal steps taken with faith will alter matter and space
This one truth has many layers - it's a matter of taste
to leave this life of trials depressed or floating battered in grace

^^^^
this whole switch up was pretty nice
the start of the verse was sick though.
every other line was scathing and had some nice lines
that over 60 & still looking gorgeous made me lol
a lot of sick rhymes in this shit though
really liked passionate loop/had to redo.
that was dope...overall a pretty sick piece
keep it up.

i will comment on this in the near future and you will take my feedback into consideration.

aight family

Got a little forced in there for a sec, but it was an enjoyable read ... alotta things no ones said .. i can dig it .. 8/10

Haven't READ (or maybe 1once but never fed?) YET...
****Bitta Feed DUE TUESDAY****

Loved it...particularly the first 3/4ths...

Thought the end kind of "devolved" a bit into a keystyle about how you can nab young girls and a few flexes...

Whereas the majority/meat of the piece was cleverly done I thought, arguably loosely topicalizing my own life, particularly at the time this was written...so I RELATED to it (how could I not, ffs lol)...and was thoroughly ENTERTAINED by most of it...which is WHY I read & write.
I like reading "real" NYC verses...and I felt that this one fit that bill, regardless of the lazier ending.

***Certainly could be a generic psychobabble verse about any random dude who thinks he's smarter than he is...but I'm just telling you that I related, esp. after our brief conversations/interactions during that year...

SHOW for aowl...thanks, take care

Pharoh's proud he just value-bluffed a medium pot with like a 4/5 snapbet last2act...kinda wants to brag to Blas...but would rather be nostalgic here& explain his past.
Lol,
guys

Your 1-2 bar due tonight