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08-03-2014, 10:23 AM
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#1 | |
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obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,716
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599678    |
neighbor: you never told me you were a registered sex offender! i HAVE KIDS! me: omfg im so sorry i forgot to register again i never renewed lmao woops! neighbor: im calling the police! me: but im not registered
tired of the emotions, fatigued by the waste
exhaustion from being broken, its like feeding fire to the hate IF!! emotions were sentient beings, the intent would be freeing would see me as an infectious deceiving son of a gun tried to make someones day better, do i get points if its null? pretending my hands a gun when i point to my skull????? smoking cigarettes is out of the question, but i dream that I do crushing a camel under my steel toe, drinking coffee with cream in light of the hue i could feel the humps in my foot, but the camel wasnt an animal wouldnt handle the concussive conundrums. modern day circus freak. everything im jugglings' flammable despite being a brute. i’m under the sheets, my souls going off in a binge set the overpass on fire by being the troll under the bridge cause if demons are here, they’re just cheering me on i’m their leader. the gauge millimeter inoculating fear in their heart an addiction to harm bringing. harbinger consultant so when you hear the saying blood boils, that’s really the witch with her cauldron
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08-03-2014, 11:49 AM
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#2 | |
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Mad fucking dangerous.
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 12,072
Battle Record: 40-19
Champed - AOWL Season 3
- Art of Writing League (2x)
Rep Power: 85899403 |
This was way downbeat from what I'm used to reading by you, more like something Zombie or Void might write. There was a bit of Netcees parody in that sad tone, but that doesn't make it any less genuine-feeling. There were some things that didn't work for me, like the humps line and occasional wording slips. This was my favorite part:
Quote:
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I'm just swinging swords strictly based on keyboards, unbalanced like elephants and ants on seesaws. |
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08-04-2014, 01:54 PM
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#3 |
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with razor spurs
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: At David Blaine's favorite place with David Spade and Macy Gray
Posts: 87
Rep Power: 3750187 |
Was this the pancake diss? If so it was quite clever. If not, it was quite wack. The title was interesting. Irregardlessly Neighbor would shoot you to death with Mack's 10 through 50.
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08-04-2014, 05:17 PM
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#4 |
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consults Lloyd
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,075
Battle Record: 0-8
Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast
Rep Power: 39345600 |
I don't think he meant Zack, but just some random neighbor he lives next door to in this fantasy world of a title.
These words you strung together to form sentences was sucky... btw. |
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08-04-2014, 06:21 PM
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#5 | ||
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obsessed
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: fucka idiyote
Posts: 5,716
Battle Record: Faggot-1
Accomplishments - can recite entirety of shrek 2
Champed - tangoed with spider man behind scenes in spider-man 2
- was candidate for gerber baby 3x
- smush parker like bb comment on instagram saying "u fucka suck idiyote"
- smush beer on head and didn't cry
- parallel parked in between 2 ferrari's in tonky truck once
- when saying pledge of allegiance i said "i don't" lmao deadass bb satan
- won tshirt from taco bell saying "taco cat" is the same backwards for filling out 500 surveys in a
- neighbor house caught on fire i call FIRE department and saved lives, was in newspaper
- set neighbor house on fire lmao
- fuck neighbor husband and wife
- first fish caught resembled david ortiz
- colin kaepernick
- related to genghis khan
- elected assistant to the vice president assistant to the president for regional chess club
- never lost game of hide and seek
Rep Power: 8599678 |
Quote:
oing to edit it, to be less sucky. @david stern razor burns yeah it is, bb edit l8r tho cuz better than dull boy
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precision defender Quote:
Last edited by big baby; 08-04-2014 at 06:24 PM. |
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08-05-2014, 10:05 AM
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#6 |
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SOBER
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 13,052
Battle Record: 2-5
Champed - AOWL Season 2
Rep Power: 85899406 |
I write better than that
This is shite |
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08-05-2014, 10:49 AM
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#7 |
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consults Lloyd
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,075
Battle Record: 0-8
Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast
Rep Power: 39345600 |
Lol hue
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08-05-2014, 01:08 PM
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#8 |
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nok Su kow
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 4,507
Battle Record: 1-1
Rep Power: 51788019 |
Pancake spits that dope text son.
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"black as midnight..black as pitch blacker than the soul of the foulest witch" |
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08-05-2014, 03:12 PM
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#9 |
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rhyme capsule.
Join Date: Sep 2018
Posts: 2,146
Rep Power: 0   |
why so macabre? you're normally really good at transitions (conceptually/rhythmically) but the arrangement wasn't so... i guess it didn't really read like you - what i'm used to seeing from you, at least, because i don't know you at all personally. idk. felt off.
add. read the comments above me and apparently you're apeing panface. i suppose i get it better, now. |
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