help me charge up my jerk-off crystal

anime_boners · 03-19-2014, 01:18 PM

I know I have my own thread for this stuff but this.. this is too strong not too have its own thread

Sick · 03-19-2014, 01:19 PM

Lmaooooooooooo0o0o

Frank Metts · 03-19-2014, 01:53 PM

Has to be a troll

Craigslist?

anime_boners · 03-19-2014, 01:54 PM

shrug

i got the screen shot off buzzfeed, but yeah it seems to have originated on cl

troll or no troll he is a god among ants

Frank Metts · 03-19-2014, 02:35 PM

Only real question is
Where does one aquire this crystal?

Do I have to leave the shire and battle the necromaner sauron to obtain the one crystal that will jerk us all

Batty · 03-20-2014, 09:05 AM

I always trust Reed's judgement. So it goes without saying that You did the right thing threading this.

anime_boners · 03-20-2014, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frank Metts

Only real question is
Where does one aquire this crystal?

Do I have to leave the shire and battle the necromaner sauron to obtain the one crystal that will jerk us all

I imagine if you defeat the CL ad poster in masturbatory combat, he must relinquish the crystal to you.*

*fun facts about this post

I spelled, "relinquish" right on my first try

spell check tells me, "masturbatory" is an actual word.

Frank Metts · 03-20-2014, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anime_boners

I imagine if you defeat the CL ad poster in masturbatory combat, he must relinquish the crystal to you.*

*fun facts about this post

I spelled, "relinquish" right on my first try

spell check tells me, "masturbatory" is an actual word.

What would this combat consist off? We talking speed demon... Distantce drop ... Overall consistently ... Dry of lubed for seperate events ... And who is the panel of judges... Howard stern ?

Is their a summer and winter event like the jack off Olympics?

anime_boners · 03-20-2014, 09:39 AM

Round 1 is Judged on overall load size and distance. Are you a fire hose or a squirt gun?

Round 2 is accuracy. Moving females face targets are set up from 2 feet back. How many accurate face shots can you make in 60 seconds?

Round 3 is speed. 2 nuts in. Testosterone levels lowered, and barely motivated, how fast can you finish?

Caveat: he is wearing the crystal and it is charged to full power.

Destroyer · 03-20-2014, 10:00 AM

guys, he's SEEN it glow.

Diode · 03-20-2014, 10:10 AM

@Sicc for details on vanquishing

03-20-2014, 10:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anime_boners

Round 1 is Judged on overall load size and distance. Are you a fire hose or a squirt gun?

Round 2 is accuracy. Moving females face targets are set up from 2 feet back. How many accurate face shots can you make in 60 seconds?

Round 3 is speed. 2 nuts in. Testosterone levels lowered, and barely motivated, how fast can you finish?

Caveat: he is wearing the crystal and it is charged to full power.

Goooone.

/genre

Rawn MD · 03-20-2014, 10:15 AM

Reeds follow ups r even better than OP

lolz

Frank Metts · 03-20-2014, 10:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by anime_boners

Round 1 is Judged on overall load size and distance. Are you a fire hose or a squirt gun?

Round 2 is accuracy. Moving females face targets are set up from 2 feet back. How many accurate face shots can you make in 60 seconds?

Round 3 is speed. 2 nuts in. Testosterone levels lowered, and barely motivated, how fast can you finish?

Caveat: he is wearing the crystal and it is charged to full power.

Reed we need a tie breaker ...

How about nothing but a back stroke, with tooth picks holding up your eyelids staring at a picture of Phillip Seymour Hoffman in his boogie nights shorts while tea bagging a cup of hot tea ... No krumpets

veritas · 03-20-2014, 10:39 AM

Dude jacked Pamela Anderson's barb wire tat though.....seems legit.

Rawn MD · 03-20-2014, 10:39 AM

Frank is obv at the guys house atm...

Is i still glowing, or have u exhausted it's additive energy?

Batty · 03-20-2014, 11:26 AM

Dude's a noob if he ain't on that Fleshlight Russian Roulette.

Frank Metts · 03-20-2014, 11:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rawn MD

Frank is obv at the guys house atm...

Is i still glowing, or have u exhausted it's additive energy?

Chrystal was fake ... It had a watch battery in it that lit up with movement ... This guy was bogus

Nice house though ...

Diode · 03-20-2014, 11:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frank Metts

Chrystal was fake

Truer words were never spoken.

Rawn MD · 03-20-2014, 12:00 PM

Thas fucked...

on both counts.

03-19-2014, 01:18 PM	#1
anime_boners Bisky-chama <3 Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,082 Battle Record: 0-1 Rep Power: 85899389	help me charge up my jerk-off crystal I know I have my own thread for this stuff but this.. this is too strong not too have its own thread __________________ anime boners - pronounced with a long I and a silent e. jsyk

03-19-2014, 01:54 PM	#4
anime_boners Bisky-chama <3 Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,082 Battle Record: 0-1 Rep Power: 85899389	shrug i got the screen shot off buzzfeed, but yeah it seems to have originated on cl troll or no troll he is a god among ants __________________ anime boners - pronounced with a long I and a silent e. jsyk

03-20-2014, 09:39 AM	#9
anime_boners Bisky-chama <3 Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 3,082 Battle Record: 0-1 Rep Power: 85899389	Round 1 is Judged on overall load size and distance. Are you a fire hose or a squirt gun? Round 2 is accuracy. Moving females face targets are set up from 2 feet back. How many accurate face shots can you make in 60 seconds? Round 3 is speed. 2 nuts in. Testosterone levels lowered, and barely motivated, how fast can you finish? Caveat: he is wearing the crystal and it is charged to full power. __________________ anime boners - pronounced with a long I and a silent e. jsyk

03-20-2014, 10:10 AM	#11
Diode PR's Finest Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 14,165 Battle Record: 12-7 Rep Power: 85899410	@Sicc for details on vanquishing __________________

03-20-2014, 10:15 AM	#13
Rawn MD Get MacDon Join Date: Dec 1969 Posts: 2,168 Battle Record: 3-7 Accomplishments - OM HOF Rep Power: 0	Reeds follow ups r even better than OP lolz __________________ FFC>FCC A. bove T. he R. est

03-19-2014, 01:19 PM	#2
Sick t00 0riginal 4 u Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: Just Write's mother's house Posts: 1,042 Battle Record: 7-1 Rep Power: 1837334	Lmaooooooooooo0o0o

03-19-2014, 01:53 PM	#3
Frank Metts Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,621 Battle Record: 0-1 Rep Power: 2305789	Has to be a troll Craigslist?

03-19-2014, 02:35 PM	#5
Frank Metts Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2013 Posts: 2,621 Battle Record: 0-1 Rep Power: 2305789	Only real question is Where does one aquire this crystal? Do I have to leave the shire and battle the necromaner sauron to obtain the one crystal that will jerk us all

03-20-2014, 09:05 AM	#6
Batty that nigga Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: trailer house Posts: 2,739 Rep Power: 85899385	I always trust Reed's judgement. So it goes without saying that You did the right thing threading this.

03-20-2014, 10:39 AM	#16
Rawn MD Get MacDon Join Date: Dec 1969 Posts: 2,168 Battle Record: 3-7 Accomplishments - OM HOF Rep Power: 0	Frank is obv at the guys house atm... Is i still glowing, or have u exhausted it's additive energy? __________________ FFC>FCC A. bove T. he R. est

03-20-2014, 11:26 AM	#17
Batty that nigga Join Date: Dec 2013 Location: trailer house Posts: 2,739 Rep Power: 85899385	Dude's a noob if he ain't on that Fleshlight Russian Roulette.

03-20-2014, 12:00 PM	#20
Rawn MD Get MacDon Join Date: Dec 1969 Posts: 2,168 Battle Record: 3-7 Accomplishments - OM HOF Rep Power: 0	Thas fucked... on both counts. __________________ FFC>FCC A. bove T. he R. est