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Old 03-09-2014, 07:08 PM   #6
cyph her
decept the con
 
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: San Jose, CA
Posts: 126
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Patrown - This was a bit of an awkward read for me overall. While there were some dope lines.. I felt like you changed direction midway through, as if you had taken a break and come back with a different idea. You started to gain momentum with the characters, but then just fell off all of a sudden.

CK - I enjoyed reading this. I really dug the opening stanza and I feel like there's a topic for it where you could have dominated, but this wasn't it. I really can't figure out what your angle was.



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