Many Robots

Gazette · 08-06-2013, 06:52 AM

here comes the mist, black and wet
tried to tackle death, so passive, passion-less
sun, moon, earth - some oedipian affair
they came with the smoke, but he's leaving with air
chunky chromatics, direct light, a Christmas schematic
clean and erratic, fingernails hidden, deep in the fabric
reprehensible, no, just old

introduce your rockstar here

i took the 12-15 to Bristol Parkaway

there were many, many robots
i said I'd down, resist the stars to pace
there were many, many robots

i saw him in red denim, dried-milk itchiness
little rivulets of little-ness
skin skates over ribs, bruises balloon
tears attend, of course, traffic loses its tune
her teeth stink, should have deleted her skull
so peaceful and full, like sheep, asleep in their wool
pubic, static, plastic and rhythmical
digit by bitten digit, into the Valley of Hinnom go

i counted rosy bricks to seven, six
there were many, many robots
in the lintels there, were set the petroglyphs
and many, many robots

i saw him in the strangle-steps, cotton jam and cheese
eyes like daiquiris, attacking with asthmatic knees
the sky a sort of distance, natural, ankle-rawness
black, enormous, everything intact but formless
her throat a cut of wrinkled clay
see this heap of bleating tits and hate?
she's a robot

Eŋg · 08-21-2013, 08:37 PM

i saw what you did here, which was cool. the verse itself was pretty boring, but you've a strength with descriptive language, which you use well without any malapropism. or whatever.

don't trust robots.

dull boy · 08-21-2013, 10:57 PM

^ fuck this guy

This was really great. Scheming was really tight, and the way you play with words is always fun for any lyricist to see. Not sure where malapropism would even enter the subject here, but hallow propism for the fancy word.

Eŋg · 08-21-2013, 11:08 PM

malaprop was a joke bout something prior. k.

Quote:

Originally Posted by dull boy

^ fuck this guy

woo me, first.

dull boy · 08-21-2013, 11:24 PM

Oh.

Exis · 08-22-2013, 04:08 PM

skin skates over ribs, bruises balloon
tears attend, of course, traffic loses its tune
her teeth stink, should have deleted her skull
so peaceful and full, like sheep, asleep in their wool

^^Nice.

the sky a sort of distance, natural, ankle-rawness
black, enormous, everything intact but formless

^^Yep.

As dull mentioned your scheme be nice...thought the flow was quite good due to your word usage, I actually really dug the content as it just worked man...shit wasn't overdone and all in all it came out solid, not to mention refreshin'.

Stay uppity.

08-06-2013, 06:52 AM	#1
Gazette Senior Member Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 186 Battle Record: 2-3 Rep Power: 37	Many Robots here comes the mist, black and wet tried to tackle death, so passive, passion-less sun, moon, earth - some oedipian affair they came with the smoke, but he's leaving with air chunky chromatics, direct light, a Christmas schematic clean and erratic, fingernails hidden, deep in the fabric reprehensible, no, just old introduce your rockstar here i took the 12-15 to Bristol Parkaway there were many, many robots i said I'd down, resist the stars to pace there were many, many robots i saw him in red denim, dried-milk itchiness little rivulets of little-ness skin skates over ribs, bruises balloon tears attend, of course, traffic loses its tune her teeth stink, should have deleted her skull so peaceful and full, like sheep, asleep in their wool pubic, static, plastic and rhythmical digit by bitten digit, into the Valley of Hinnom go i counted rosy bricks to seven, six there were many, many robots in the lintels there, were set the petroglyphs and many, many robots i saw him in the strangle-steps, cotton jam and cheese eyes like daiquiris, attacking with asthmatic knees the sky a sort of distance, natural, ankle-rawness black, enormous, everything intact but formless her throat a cut of wrinkled clay see this heap of bleating tits and hate? she's a robot __________________ Mondo Thugs

08-21-2013, 08:37 PM	#2
Eŋg rhyme capsule. Join Date: Sep 2018 Posts: 2,150 Rep Power: 0	i saw what you did here, which was cool. the verse itself was pretty boring, but you've a strength with descriptive language, which you use well without any malapropism. or whatever. don't trust robots.

08-21-2013, 10:57 PM	#3
dull boy consults Lloyd Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 4,053 Battle Record: 0-8 Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast Rep Power: 39345604	^ fuck this guy This was really great. Scheming was really tight, and the way you play with words is always fun for any lyricist to see. Not sure where malapropism would even enter the subject here, but hallow propism for the fancy word.

08-21-2013, 11:24 PM	#5
dull boy consults Lloyd Join Date: Aug 2013 Posts: 4,053 Battle Record: 0-8 Champed -1-2 Punch League Roast Rep Power: 39345604	Oh.

08-22-2013, 04:08 PM	#6
Exis ............ Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 3,934 Battle Record: 3-3 Rep Power: 0	skin skates over ribs, bruises balloon tears attend, of course, traffic loses its tune her teeth stink, should have deleted her skull so peaceful and full, like sheep, asleep in their wool ^^Nice. the sky a sort of distance, natural, ankle-rawness black, enormous, everything intact but formless ^^Yep. As dull mentioned your scheme be nice...thought the flow was quite good due to your word usage, I actually really dug the content as it just worked man...shit wasn't overdone and all in all it came out solid, not to mention refreshin'. Stay uppity.