05-22-2013, 06:03 PM | #1 |
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Camp Bell vs ZenLand (S&F) - ZENLAND WINS 5-3
12 lines
due 5/23/13 midnight eastern
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get high. write rhymes. Last edited by Camp Bell; 05-22-2013 at 06:06 PM. |
05-22-2013, 06:04 PM | #2 |
Arm the Homeless
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When I die...
I'll be a living legend clinching weapons when rifts beckon me, I'm threatening with Smith and Westons poppin clips of seven And make 'em hit eleven with no indiscretion, A melody of fits and aggression spraying iridescently In my peers direction cuz my mere presence has fear beckoning In my brethren, That sears impressions in their mind Til they get the message cuz I'm the kind that gets pissed in a second, The richest peasant with hints of perfection, That gifts impressions and evny, So it's time to start To rip my wretched enemies til their torn apart, Only way to live when addressin the living legend is to remember, I'm the shit dawg, and my pen's the insestine Last edited by Zen; 05-22-2013 at 06:46 PM. |
05-22-2013, 06:05 PM | #3 |
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word thats fine, ill change it to 12
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get high. write rhymes. |
05-22-2013, 06:33 PM | #4 |
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...oh
nike sign. http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=6623 http://www.netcees.co/showthread.php?t=6619
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get high. write rhymes. Last edited by Camp Bell; 05-23-2013 at 08:50 PM. |
05-23-2013, 01:08 PM | #5 |
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Last edited by Zen; 05-23-2013 at 01:37 PM. |
05-23-2013, 08:28 PM | #6 |
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deep in my roots, its about to get physical...
im just speaking the truth, its going down by the ticket oak see, i eat wheaties with prunes til my bowels go in intervals Z, dude, you reading the rules? bogus clowns get shitted on fuck you, its sun tzu. gunning out the sun roof of my civic bro ya front view, pumped thru. son you'll get killed wit subliminals i tried to come smooth and stay chilled but these bullets cold blaster beams splitting yo anatomy, so relax ya team spiritual it's travesties in general and it's all happening, happily in digital catastrophes' on behalf of crafty me, makes this tragedy pitiful im a master b, actually, master p, amassing keys w/ no limit tho swagging wit ya faculty splattered on my graphic tee, fixing dope you faggot weak, fashion week, rapping sweet in bitches clothes
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get high. write rhymes. |
05-27-2013, 02:10 PM | #7 |
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No offence to camp cus I genuinely enjoyed the verse was pretty decent proba worth expanding on it an dropping it in the open mic. As for a s an f however I dont think
It panned out well. The rhyme scheme wasn't overly creative an was seriously lacking in swagger. As for zenlands his drop was a pretty bog standard rhyme scheme basic In parts but flowed well and there was a nice show of swagger especially as it progressed. Overall vote goes to zen but enjoyed the read from Both |
05-28-2013, 02:47 PM | #8 |
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Dope battle, i felt zen had a little more to his in terms of content. Camps flow was a little better but so repetitive. Zen its wesson not weston and camp whats a blaster beam? Anyways im going to go with zen
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06-05-2013, 09:19 AM | #9 |
...DA GAWD...
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i got Zen with more indepth content disposal. i have camp actually with the swag but zen on the flow. so im sort of torn between choosing a clear cut winner..... ok after reading it over twice i will be deciding who came nice with it to me perosonally... i got zen just by a hair seriously... with his content being more broad
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06-12-2013, 03:51 PM | #10 |
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3-0
UPPPPPP |
06-25-2013, 07:33 AM | #11 |
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Jesus Christ. 3-1 if you count DG's vote.
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06-29-2013, 01:43 PM | #12 |
Om
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Alright my Vote goes to Camp
Camps lacked in the flow department but had a stronger swag appeal than Zenland. Also, I didnt think zens flow was that much better in the first place. I appreciated the attempt at a consistent rhyme scheme from Zen, but in the long run it worked against him, limiting what he could say and making it even awkward at points. Camp, get more creative with the flow man. Peace
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06-29-2013, 06:45 PM | #13 |
official hypedaddy.
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zen came w/ a broad range a content, & more inner multis, but imo his flow was still a tie w/ camp. camps flow was just simple & nice to me & i would even edge it to him. Camp also had much more of a swag feel to me, i just felt his piece overall more & felt he hyped himself a lot harder. Overall camp took this by a lil bit imo, just enjoyed his piece more overall swag/flow wise.
v/ camp bell. |
07-11-2013, 07:42 AM | #14 | ||||||
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zen- first let me say I'm a fan of your OM HOF piece....and its concept...brilliant. that said, let's move on to this verse
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did not like the bleeding of rhymes in the 2nd line cos with the end rhyme came awkward then line 3 the same...with "fear beckoning" not working for me..the inner rhyme was too forced...sightly. lines 9-12 were pretty forced due the set up and the unchanging cadence...did not like while your mechanics were good, the pacing and carrying over the same root into each line to showcase skill kinda hurt ya...some dope concepts tho. your first line was ill, then imho you should have offered more cadence changes.... Quote:
camp bell Quote:
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overall good concepts and some wit....some rhymes seemed to be irrelevant to swag and put in for the flow....still I think you have the edge in this I felt like breaking this down like this, not because I'm a douche pseudo textee, but just felt like it. v/CB
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What is public must be legit, fit for average consumption, don't forget. What is private is handled by pirates, prying loose profits from prosthetics. To tell the difference between: first remain unseen with a steady breath and hope, then listen to the cracks in the wall with a stethoscope. Last edited by Coup; 07-11-2013 at 07:47 AM. |
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07-17-2013, 12:21 AM | #15 |
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07-17-2013, 08:38 PM | #16 |
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Zen had a lot more swag and flow. Easy win here
Camp just wennt to basic with his rhyming.
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07-18-2013, 12:25 AM | #17 |
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Zen: Dope verse, consistent flow aside from the 'time to start/torn apart' bar, and you went out with a bang. Outro stood out to me as a very suitable ending. That bar was really the only line that stood out tho, everything was pleasantly average.
Camp: Felt flow could have been a lot more engaging in the first portion. Lines were good but limited by the flow to me. The last quarter was pretty tight though, wish the whole verse was on that level but feel you needed to do more here. +1 Zen
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