It ain't 99'

[Strikta]

I'm seeing lights to the left of me.. telepathy tries, intertwined w/ the message meaning times were protecting me.. it ain't 99'.. see it's why I'm objective, receptive, w/ measurable minds in the recipe blended in my breakfast for better times when my guests can eat, swine. Impressive, it seems.. a questionable being bringing blessings in need for the best of his demons. Unless when u bleed it meant something, Jesus. My pencil will scream like menstrual bohemoths, sent somewhere green for the end of my grievings, w/ the pressure & despair.. u'd regret what ur seeing. These celestial meetings w/ God, please... on my hands & knees I repent & I MEAN IT! Take a second & breathe.. it only sets the tone leaving. On this quest I know seasons come & go, I wonder tho.. why I only get these cold breezes.

I love it tho.

But it ain't 99' no mo'.

Peace.

[Split]

this was dope

[VENgeanc]

Originally Posted by Split

this was dope

the fuck kind of feed is that? don't be such a dick rider... or hater.. loL either one?

i would of appreciated it if you bar'd your lines styll..

first line, don't get it, i guess u were just trying to sound cool with big words.
parts of it sounded forced, like that swine part, good concept, forced bar.
"Unless when u bleed it meant something, Jesus." you mean "at least" right?
that was a good line, despite it be'n a bit shaky, once again good concept..
but your not really connecting the imagery here, it seems rephrasing is in order.
when broken up u can definitely see there is a flaw in syllable count, stretched bars.
rhyming sounds kind of blah, not really all there, and the flow is choppy, too much filler.
i like that last line there tho, that had good execution, strong concept and feeling.

the ideas you have are good it's just your wording that's not doing it..
your vocabulary and technical skill were at an all time low IMO..
i'm sure u can do better.. try more internal rhyme structure, multies n such..
still.. keep your imagery vivid n try to stay to a linear story (on point)
with some tweaking this could be an epic drop on all levels but now it's just wack..

keep em come'n though, i wanna see something with effort put forth...

[Brian Bryan]

flow is buttersmooth bruh

[Split]

Originally Posted by VENgeance

the fuck kind of feed is that? don't be such a dick rider... or hater.. loL either one?

im not about to use this as my feed..?
i was trying to give his piece a bump as well as a nod to let him know i peeped it. i wouldn't say it was dope if i didn't think it was. and don't come at me sideways.



CONSTRIKTA.

Impressive, it seems.. a questionable being bringing blessings in need for the best of his demons. Unless when u bleed it meant something, Jesus.

that was cool to me. opener sounded cool but wasn't fresh. flow was awesome up through here.

Take a second & breathe.. it only sets the tone leaving. On this quest I know seasons come & go, I wonder tho.. why I only get these cold breezes.

I love it tho.

But it ain't 99' no mo'.

this was nicely put. first sentence feels like something i'd write, no lie. overall, had a real cool flow and i like the way you ended.


good job Strik! keep keyin

[Strikta]

Originally Posted by VENgeance

the fuck kind of feed is that? don't be such a dick rider... or hater.. loL either one?

i would of appreciated it if you bar'd your lines styll..

first line, don't get it, i guess u were just trying to sound cool with big words.
parts of it sounded forced, like that swine part, good concept, forced bar.
"Unless when u bleed it meant something, Jesus." you mean "at least" right?
that was a good line, despite it be'n a bit shaky, once again good concept..
but your not really connecting the imagery here, it seems rephrasing is in order.
when broken up u can definitely see there is a flaw in syllable count, stretched bars.
rhyming sounds kind of blah, not really all there, and the flow is choppy, too much filler.
i like that last line there tho, that had good execution, strong concept and feeling.

the ideas you have are good it's just your wording that's not doing it..
your vocabulary and technical skill were at an all time low IMO..
i'm sure u can do better.. try more internal rhyme structure, multies n such..
still.. keep your imagery vivid n try to stay to a linear story (on point)
with some tweaking this could be an epic drop on all levels but now it's just wack..

keep em come'n though, i wanna see something with effort put forth...

Plz don't critique or look at anything else I write in the future. Thanks anyways.

But good looks B.B. & Split.. just a little something I threw together & had to get off my mind.

[Just Write]

this was ill..i will give quality feed when i get to work in a couple hours.. dug the whole feel.. cheers

[Zen]

Damn. A short little drop here but its jam packed full of deep content man. The flow was nice and your word choices were on point especially in the first few lines. Really enjoyed this shit:
I'm seeing lights to the left of me.. telepathy tries, intertwined w/ the message meaning times were protecting me.. it ain't 99'.. see it's why I'm objective, receptive, w/ measurable minds in the recipe blended in my breakfast for better times when my guests can eat, swine
^^The flow and the word choice set up this piece beautifully.
I've never read an OM drop from you before Strikta but this is good man. Keep droppin.

[Mike Wrecka]

ya this was dope. flow and scheme on point. good work

[Strikta]

Thanks for the feedback fellas.